Minority Report

Good evening, this post is only allowed to be viewed after 6 PM but earlier than 12 AM. Please plan accordingly.

Ok. So last we left I talked about Vanilla Sky and how it really didn't live up to my nostalgic memory of it. Critics seemed to agree, but audiences were curious, giving Cruise another $100 million hit.

Including Jerry Maguire, Tom had added 3 more movies to his ever growing list of hits, garnered his second and third Oscar nominations, and worked with one of the most renowned directors in Hollywood history. How does one follow all that shit up?

You work with Steven Spielberg, of course.

Which brings us to Minority Report, an adaptation of Philip K. Dick's sci-fi thriller. This is a really interesting time not just for Cruise, who for the better part of a decade made it a point to make movies that leaned darker and more adult than ever, but for Spielberg as well, who had also been leaning away from the family friendly blockbusters into more intense and emotional territory right around the same time.

The film follows Cruise as John Anderton, a hot shot future cop of Pre-Crime (!) who has gotten the murder rate in Washington D.C. down to zero thanks to three gifted humans who can see the future. It's an exciting and often grim futuristic tale of police politics that once again finds Tom at the top of his game, proving himself an able action hero as well as a believable man on the run.

But look, Minority Report is the Steven Spielberg show all day long. The opening sequence alone is a masterclass, clearly and effectively setting up the premise and stakes, ramping up the tension with every passing second. I must also mentioned that I was totally surprised at how much of the action is practical as opposed to green screen or CGI. I mean, there's plenty of both seeing as how it takes place in the future, but there are multiple chases and sequences that employ good old fashion in camera tricks or stunts. Of course, the entire movie is a marvel and like War of the Worlds to follow, Minority Report stands as one of Spielberg's most unsung masterpieces.

Minority Report came out in June of 2002 to enthusiastic reviews and $132 million in the U.S. and over $350 million worldwide. Now, for a PG-13 sci-fi/action movie directed by Steven Spielberg and starring Tom Cruise, you might think those numbers are a little low, and you'd be right. The movie didn't reach the heights of either of their crowd pleasing hits from years before (though they would make up for it with the $600 million grossing War of the Worlds a few years later). But as mentioned, neither star or director were interested in making easy to swallow popcorn movies which were taking over the top spots in the years after 9/11 (The Santa Cause 2 and XXX starring Vin Diesel both outgrossed Minority Report that year). But still, the Cruise Quality promise remained intact.

Well friends, I have a very small announcement for the 13 of you of read this. I'm starting a new blog/website in an attempt to make this a little more legitimate. That also means this is the end of my Tom Cruise journey, at least for now. My focus with the new site is to write about whatever I'm passionate about in that particular moment,  and revisiting these old Tom favorites has inspired me to branch a little and revisit some other favorites from when I first started to fall in love with film, so my first post will be about my favorite movie of all time, Die Hard with a Vengeance which just celebrated its 25th anniversary this past May.

Of course, I'm still gonna watch Tom Cruise movies which means I'll also be writing about them. So don't worry yourself. I hope you enjoyed this little spiral into a pit of despair as much as I have. Be on the lookout for my new site in the coming days and remember, I like movies.

Vanilla Sky

Hi Mom! Hi Dad! Aren't you proud of me? I quit my job during a pandemic so I could write about Tom Cruise's career when absolutely no one asked me too! Yes. Yes, I know, I'm your favorite. Now shut up.

As I mentioned at the end of my last psychotic rant, Cruise followed up his one-two punch of Eyes Wide Shut and Magnolia with his biggest hit up until that point, the action sequel Mission: Impossible II. Tom had kept his stronghold as the worlds biggest (figuratively) star. 

And then he made Vanilla Sky. 

Spoilers for Vanilla Sky to follow. 

Ok look, Vanilla Sky is a fucking wild ass movie. Based on the Spanish film Abre Los Ojos (Open Your Eyes) Tom stars as David Aames, a care free publishing CEO (!) who immediately after meeting the love of his life Sophia,  played by Penelope Cruz, gets into a car with Julie, played by Cameron Diaz, a former flame of David's whose jealously leads to a suicide attempt with David in the car resulting in her death and the extreme maiming of David. Tom actually spends the rest of the movie in utterly convincing make up showcasing the scarring from the accident.

But just when you think the rest of the movie is gonna be a drama about redemption and overcoming the odds or some shit, it takes a hard left turn into low key sci-fi fantasy territory dealing with cryogenics and dream manipulation.

Fucking wild ass movie, I say.

But it was one wild ass movie that I loved when I first saw it, and all the times after. Until this viewing at least. To my surprise, the move mostly fell flat for me. What I once thought was an emotional and challenging drama was actually just a bore with a twist.

Ok, I'm being a little dramatic. The movie isn't exactly boring, especially because Vanilla Sky is absolutely swinging for the fences, it's just that it could only get to first base and not that home run everyone was expecting (I promise I'll never use a sports analogy again).

Once again, Tom's movie star good looks are used to trick us, because at the beginning his character, David, is a bit of a prick. He's nice and charming and all that, but he could give two shits about anyone other than himself, and Cruise crushes that fake niceness.

As soon as Penelope Cruz comes into the picture, we get that classic Tom Cruise: Movie Star charm, last seen in Jerry Maguire (It should be noted that Vanilla Sky was written and directed by Cameron Crowe, who also helmed Maguire). But Tom Cruise: Movie Star dies in that car crash and Tom Cruise: Actor is born again, this time with 7 pounds of facial prosthetics to assist, and honestly, Tom makes some truly weird choices here.

Oh and this is where Kurt Russell shows up too.

Anywho, Tom waves his fingers in Kurts face, he dances aggressively, he makes pathetic self deprecating jokes about his new appearance. Like Magnolia before it, Vanilla Sky showcased Tom in a way audiences simply hadn't seen before.

And I think that's why I'm so drawn to this point in his career. Cruise seemed hellbent on not only challenging his audience, but trusting them too. Tom was willing play unlikable characters, and eager to subvert his movie star image, all because he likes movies (I like movies). But seriously, he used his clout to help Stanley Kubrick, Paul Thomas Anderson and Cameron Crowe to get their movies made the way they wanted to make them, and that's pretty fucking cool.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to enjoy Vanilla Sky as much as I did in the past. Crowe goes overboard with his soundtrack, with the music being more distracting to an emotional moment rather than amplifying it as the filmmaker has done so well in the past. The movie also has a stink that only movies from the early aughts have. And no, I will not elaborate. If you know, you know. Most of all, the movie just didn't grab me emotionally like it used to. As I mentioned before, emotional adult dramas were right up my alley as a tween (Emo 4 Lyfe), but I just couldn't connect to the movie or any of its characters this time around, which is weird, because my old ass still loves me some EMOtional shit. In the end, Vanilla Sky bit more than it could chew, but I still have to admire the effort.

Vanilla Sky opened in December of 2001 to mostly tepid reviews, but ended up grossing just over $100 million at the domestic box office, once again proving that audiences would follow him anywhere.


Next up, Cruise gets friendly with a man with a beard. Spielberg baby. Minority Report. It's been a minute since I've checked this one out as well, so I'm eager to see how it holds up.

Until next time.

I like movies.

Magnolia

Hello my friends, I hope this essay finds you well (please note that my enemies can get fucked), and thank you for joining me again. Last I left you I had just yelled at you about Eyes Wide Shut, where Tom Cruise: Movie Star was flipped on his head by director Stanley Kubrick. The film wasn't the box office success or critical darling many had expected it to be, but after being absent from the silver screen for three years since starring in Jerry Maguire, Tom Cruise: Movie Star knew he had to come back strong.

So that same year brought Magnolia, a three hour melodrama that features our boy in a supporting role in which he plays a Tony Robbins like personality named Frank TJ Mackey who teaches dumb white dudes how to get laid. His motto? "Respect the cock! Tame the Cunt!"

Enter, Tom Cruse: Actor.

Spoilers for Magnolia to follow.

Of course, this isn't the first time an audience has seen Tom Cruise: Actor (that distinction belongs to Born of the Fourth of July), but because I decided to start this series at Jerry Maguire (BECAUSE I DO WHAT I FUCKING WANT), it's the first time I'm talking about him.

Magnolia is the first movie in over 15 years where Cruise wasn't the star. He had big co-stars or directors, yes, but he was always the leading character. However,  Magnolia is a sprawling ensemble featuring monster performances from John C. Reilly, Julianne Moore, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Jason Robards, Melinda Dillon, Phillip Baker Hall, William H. Macy and Luis Guzman playing himself (!).

It's clear that Tom was impressed with the director Paul Thomas Anderson, who previously directed Boogie Nights two years prior. And the thing about Tom, well, Tom likes movies. (I like movies). And it makes sense that Tom wanted to share the spotlight and act his butt off, as a treat.

Ever since the Oprah incident, Tom seems terrified of losing his audience, risking life and limb to keep them entertained. But back then, Tom trusted his audience, he could risk playing an unlikable character because his audience trusted that he would at least deliver a quality product. And back then, the Cruise Quality promise was a guarantee.

Ok but really, Tom got a hell of a character with Frank Mackey. We first meet Frank in a commercial for his male seminar. Tom turns the charm up to 11 and then adds eight dollops of scum for good measure. Frank is a douchebag of the highest regard, catering to incels and whichever gross male idiot who'll listen. teaching these dolts how to manipulate women to get sex. It's disgusting. It's despicable. It's one of the best performances Tom Cruise has ever given.

Director Anderson gives us numerous moments with Frank with zero cuts, just Tom in character talking to this audience, talking to us. And even though he is selling filth, Cruise is captivating. Yes, Anderson is using Tom Cruise: Movie Star and flipping that on its head just like Kubrick, but Frank is a different beast. Frank is a predator, unlike his character in Eyes Wide Shut, William, who is a passive voyeur. Frank is very open about his apathy toward women and these long takes give us a real chance to hate Frank, which is exactly what Cruise and director Anderson want.

Most of Frank's section in the film is of Frank being interviewed by a journalist who unveils some shocking truths about Frank's life he was hoping to keep secret. This secret doesn't exactly make the way he acts OK all of a sudden, but it's clear that he has had a truly hard life, and Cruise takes such complexity and does a tight rope walk and delivers a rich and emotional performance, while also letting the character remain a complete asshole. At the end of the film, Frank has just found out that his father he hasn't seen since he was a teenager, is on his deathbed and his last wish is to see his long lost son. Frank, after much debate, goes. We finally think we are seeing a human underneath that sexist exterior. But then, as he arrives and speaks to his father's caregiver,  played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman, he is greeted by numerous dogs of various sizes. He looks right at Hoffman and says "If the dogs get anywhere near me I will fucking dropkick them." Like I said, asshole.

Frank is just such an interesting choice for Cruise. In 1996 Tom had Jerry Maguire and Mission: Impossible come out, both gigantic hits in all aspects, with Tom starring as the romantic lead and action hero, respectively. Then he disappears for 3 years and the next two movies he makes are Eyes Wide Shut and Magnolia where he stars as an orgy seeking doctor and a rapey motivational speaker.

That's a pretty serious flex.

Again, Cruise had been making interesting and sometimes challenging movies at the studio level for most of the 90s, so it's not a complete shock but still, those two movies are so vastly different from anything else he has ever done, it just blows my mind.

On a side note, it's incredibly hard to write about Magnolia and only talk about Tom Cruise. It's such an incredibly insane, emotional, hilarious movie. It had been quite a few years since my last viewing and I'll admit I did feel the length this time. The movie simply goes on just a bit too long to be able to sustain its grip. Having said that, it's still a minor gripe and it feels like a tiny miracle that it's a movie that exists and with that cast no less. John C. Reilly is so heartbreakingly pathetic as a deadbeat cop it's endearing. Quiz kid Donny Smith, played by William H. Macy, accidentally drives into a gas station and some guy comes running up to his window and yells "That's quiz kid Donnie Smith!" and it's one of the funniest fucking moments of any movie ever. And Melinda Dillion is devastating as a cocaine addicted child abuse survivor who is going on a first date with deadbeat Reilly. Her emotional bookend to the movie ensures the viewer leaves with a somewhat hopeful feeling after enduring an emotional roller coaster the previous three hours.  Magnolia is quite simply an amazing film. 

Magnolia came out at the end of 1999 during awards season and grossed $22 million at the domestic box office. It was never expected that the film would compete with Cruise's usual blockbusters, so the sum was respectable, not to mention the fact that it got 3 Oscar nominations, including one for Tom himself for Best Supporting Actor.

So as I've said, this isn't exactly a film by film breakdown of Tom Cruise's career. I started smack dab in the middle, and now I'm going to skip one, at least for the time being. But I would like to quickly talk about its place in Tom's career.

Tom followed up Magnolia with Mission: Impossible II in May of 2000. It seems crazy, but this was the first real introduction to Tom Cruise: Action Star. The first M:I movie is more of a spy thriller directed by Brian De Palma and the franchise only side stepped to full blown action with this entry directed by John Woo.

Ugh ok, look, at some point I'm going to have to do a whole thing on the entire Mission: Impossible franchise. How can I not? But I'd rather do those movies back to back, so for now I won't discuss the quality of the movie. I would, however, like to note that the movie was a massive success, grossing $215 million in the U.S. and over half a billion worldwide. Tom Cruise: Action Star put Tom back on top.

And then he made Vanilla Sky.

I LOVE Vanilla Sky though! And I'm stoked that that is the next movie I'll be revisiting here. So stay tuned, and please remember, I like movies.

Eyes Wide Shut

Welcome back. Since you're here again I'm going to assume you have a vendetta against me. We'll deal with that later.

Last we left this CRUISE machine, Tom had a huge hit with Jerry Maguire, earning an Oscar nomination for Best Actor and adding to his growing list of $100 million box office hits. Tom Cruise: Movie Star was at peak Movie Star.

And then he went absent from the screen for three years. Why is it the worlds biggest movie star would disappear from movies at the height of his fame?

Stanley. Fucking. Kubrick.

Our boy Tom over here not only stopped everything to work with the legendary director, he dragged his wife at the time, Nicole Kidman, to join him.

Spoilers for Eyes Wide Shut to follow.

There are many, many interesting things about Eyes Wide Shut. And there are many, many articles about why it's so interesting. Its absurdly long production time of at least 15 months, its wildly overhyped sexual themes and nudity, where it stands in Kubrick's career.  But to me, the most interesting thing about Eyes Wide Shut is that it stars Tom Cruise.

Now wait a minute. I'm not saying that Cruise is the best thing about Eyes Wide Shut (I think Kidman is fucking dynamite in her much smaller role), but the mere fact that Tom Cruise starred in a Stanley Kubrick at the absolute hottest moment in his already hot career is insane.

But then again, if you look back at his career thus far and the directors he's already worked with, it's a pretty stacked list. Tony and Ridley Scott. Francis Ford Coppola. Martin Scorsese. Oliver Stone. Ron Howard. Cameron Crowe. Sydney Pollock (also his Eyes Wide Shut co-star). Rob Reiner. Barry Levinson. Brian DePalma. And that was all before Michael Mann, Steven Spielberg, Paul Thomas Anderson, Ben Stiller, Edward Zwick, Robert Redford, Brad Bird, James Mangold, and Christopher McQuarrie.

Tom Cruise likes working with good directors. So of course he wanted to work with Stanley Kubrick.

It's just so interesting that it happened after Jerry Maguire. As I said, Cruise was at peak Movie Star after that. And in Eyes Wide Shut, Kubrick takes that movie star power and flips it on its head.

The film starts with Cruise's character William Harford, a hotshot doctor (!) living in New York with his young daughter and wife Alice, played by Kidman, as the couple make their way through a high society party of the tallest order.

Cruise is immediately captivating, carrying an authoritative yet gentle demeanor. Alice is, simply put, stunning, and William is very aware of this, adding to his already strong confidence. The scene takes its time, giving quick conversations here and there with the host,  played by Sydney Pollock, and other various guests. Even in their brief interactions it's clear how insincere everyone is to one another,  only there to retain status more than relationships. This is especially true of Harford, only talking to people like they are patients rather than friends.

What I love about this choice is that it makes Tom Cruise unrelatable right out of the gate. Now I know not all of Cruise's characters are relatable (I'm pretty sure I'll never know what its like to fly jets or to defy death 7 times or drink human blood), but in general, audiences were used to Tom Cruise being the hero of the movie. So when Kubrick gives us a hallow and seemingly fake lead character played by Tom Cruise: Movie Star, it's jarring. 

But it's also great, and Cruise shows no ego here, as his character gets dunked on left and right in the film, and almost always by women. Though it's his wife Alice who dunks on him the hardest.

A night or two after the party, William and Alice decide to smoke a joint before bed. Once both are properly high, Alice questions her husbands whereabouts at the party (she saw him chatting up two models before he was whisked away to help the party's host with a problem, which she did not see). William is in a tough spot, he can't tell Alice what he helped with (an overdosed hooker), and he also can't deny he was talking with models.

And this scene, which basically sets the rest of the movie in motion, is a doozy. Kidman is vicious as Alice, tearing into William and his idiotic beliefs that women just don't think like men do. "Oh if you men only knew!", Alice screams. William is eviscerated. It's a brutal discussion between the couple, and both stars are incredible, with their real life marriage adding extra weight to the conversation.

The rest of the movie follows William after he storms out of the house and begins a bizarre night long journey that includes him having a drink with an old college buddy, getting awkwardly hit on by a paitent right after her father died, flashing his medical license like a badge at least 3 times and ends with him getting kicked out of a prestigious orgy (!). Like any Kubrick flick, the film is beautifully made, impossibly bizarre, and not easily forgotten. But above all, the director gets an incredible performance out of Cruise, allowing the audience to see the actor in a way they've never seen him before; small and weak as opposed to the Hollywood leading man. 

Eyes Wide Shut opened in June of 1999, almost 3 full years after Jerry Maguire. The film grossed $55 million at the domestic box office, a sum that at the time was deemed disappointing given the movie's enormous hype before its release, and effectively ending Cruise's streak of $100 million hits. Critics weren't initially enamored with the film either, but again, like any Kubrick film, seems to have gained prestige as time passed.

Eyes Wide Shut wasn't the hit everyone thought it could be, but Kubrick was never one to cater to the mainstream. As I said, time has been kind to the movie, and it features one of the most unique performances that Cruise has given during one of the most unique times in his career. 


Next up on this Cruise control is the three hour frog falling masterpiece, Magnolia. 

Until then, be cool. And remember, I like movies.

Jerry Maguire

As I mentioned before, I'm about to get married (again) to a wonderful woman who happens to have a 6 year old son. I work (when shit is normal) in the service industry, and often have trouble finding inspiration and joy from what keeps a roof over my head. I'm turning 34 this Saturday.

Jerry Maguire is a movie about a guy who, after breaking up with his fiance, meets and falls for a single mom while also dealing with a job where he struggles to find inspiration and joy. He is 35 years old.

I relate to Jerry Maguire.

Spoilers for Jerry Maguire to follow.

Even though our stars align at this point in my life, I still loved Jerry Maguire even as a 10 year old. For some reason I was very susceptible to emotional driven movies aimed at adults when I was that age. Having revisited most of those movies as an adult, it's clear that any theme or deeper meaning just went over my head. I was simply too young to understand adult problems. But for whatever reason, I understood the emotion. I understood that these characters were feeling things, some sad, some happy. I don't mean that in any depressing kind of way of course, it's just the way i found my connections with movies. I WAS MOVED BY ART. Even as a 10 year old. Bitch.

And for whatever reason, I thought Tom Cruise was the coolest. Maybe it's because I knew us small boys gotta stick together. Either way, I was a fucking Tom Cruise fan from day one, and Jerry Maguire was definitely my shit.

In the movie, Jerry Maguire is a hot shot sports agent (!) who finds himself having a crisis of conscience. He represents athletes who generate generous profits for both his company and himself, but at sacrifice to their own well being. One of the very first scenes in the movie has Jerry standing at the foot of his client's hospital bed as the athlete struggles to remember not only his agents name, but his wife and son's as well. As Jerry is leaving the hospital, the athletes son stops him, and questions his Dad's health to Jerry, saying that it's his fourth concussion. The kid is clearly worried about his fathers health. And Jerry, whose beeper goes off right as this is happening, calmly and charmingly assures the kid that his Dad is tough as nails, and can take anything.

"Fuck you", the kid says to Jerry. He runs off.

YIKES.


And then you get the famous phrases and freak out scenes and "SHOW ME THE MONEY!"

And they all hit just as well now as they did 24 years ago.

I get it if you don't love Jerry Maguire, but if you do, then you know that this movie is peak CRUISE. His charisma is off the charts. The opening montage with his voice over is filled with scummy, yuppy energy. And you completely fall for it. Jerry's job is to sell, and in this scene he's selling the hot shot world of Sports Agent. And it all seems cool and satisfying simply because Cruise is such a great salesman. And then Jerry comes clean. His life is a sham. He doesn't care about money or fame, he wants fulfillment, personal relationships. He wants to be a better person.

Jerry Maguire is the ultimate Tom Cruise: Movie Star performance. Tom showcases a gamut of range here; dramatic, comedic, frantic, vulnerable, pathetic, human, sometimes all in one scene.

In another scene, Jerry is talking to his fiance about his non-excitement for his "surprise" bachelor party. She assures him it'll be fun. He knows she's wrong. We get the hint that he's unhappy.

The very next scene, Jerry falls to the floor, pretending to be surprised by his friends throwing him a bachelor party. He SELLS it. Jerry can't help but please, both at home and at work, for better or for worse. The party itself is exactly what Jerry didn't want, a video montage of all of his ex girlfriends talking about how selfish and childish he was in front of all of his friends. And Tom is devastating here, his 10,000 watt of a smile suddenly is without charm, fake as can be. You feel his anguish and embarrassment. Tom Cruise: Movie Star now seems truly vulnerable.

Of course, Cruise always excels when he's with good company, and it cannot be denied how great his co stars are in this movie too. Rene Zellweger is heartbreakingly real as Dorothy, a wise beyond her years single mom who takes the chance of her life on Jerry. Yes, this movie is about Jerry Maguire, a man struggling to find his place and peace both with himself and with his job. And he does! And then finally, FINALLY, he knows what he's missing. "You complete me." he tells her. There is no Jerry Maguire without Dorothy.

Out of the films 5 Oscar nominations, including one for Tom for Best Actor and the film itself for Best Picture, it was Cuba Gooding, Jr. who won the films single trophy that night. His character, Rod Tidwell, is easily one of the most quoted characters of the 90s, full stop. But what's fucking crazy is that I forgot just how good Cuba is here. It's a big, show-y part, and while Gooding, Jr. plays that part to the T, it's the smaller moments, the moments where Rod and Jerry are actually just talking, and being friends, that we learn how soulful and good a person Rod is, and that's all Cuba. Well, him and a good script, but you know what I mean. Hoo Boy, that scene. The touchdown scene, where Rod is knocked unconscious for several minutes. Talk about the biggest fucking smile on my stupid little face once he gets up from the ground and begins to celebrate. His joy is so infectious and genuine. I feel like people have forgotten how good a performance this is by Gooding, Jr., and perhaps because it's so over the top most of the time it makes it hard to remember the more quiet moments he has. Watching it again though, it's clear he earned the Oscar that year.

It's really not all that surprising that I related so intensely on this latest viewing. As I mentioned at the beginning of this rant, Jerry and I got A LOT in common, but also I'm just older and I understand the struggles of Life. and Jerry Maguire is an amazing movie about Life.

 Jerry Maguire came out in December 1996 and earned $153 million in the US, becoming Cruise's fifth film in a row to gross more than $100 million in the states.

His next film would end that streak, however, and it just so happens it'll be next on our journey through the CRUISE career. That's right, baby! We're getting on the Kubrick train and going full steam ahead with Eyes Wide Shut. 

I'll be back as soon as i can with that installment, but until then remember, there's only one thing that matters. I like movies.

A Tom Cruise Period.

I love Tom Cruise. I've always loved Tom Cruise. But ever since "The Incident" on Oprah's talk show for his press tour for Mission: Impossible III, the whole world started to look at Cruise differently. For most, he simply became crazy Ol' Tom. For me, he stopped being Tom Cruise: Movie Star and became Tom Cruise: Action Star. Once Cruise figured out that audiences loved him again as an action lead in Mission: Impossible-Ghost Protocol, Tom didn't look back, and almost his entire output of films have been action. Granted, most of those movies have ranged from really fucking good (Jack Reacher, Edge of Tomorrow) to action masterpieces (Mission: Impossible-Rogue Nation and MI-Fallout).

But I miss Tom Cruise: Movie Star. 

I realized this while watching Steven Spielberg's War of the Worlds the other night with my fiance. Right before starting it, I was excited to revisit one of Spielbergs unsung classics, a movie that seemingly fell to the way side in terms of Spielberg's filmography. The movie was one of the biggest hits of 2005, but for some reason never really found enough ground to stand as one of Spielberg's best, something common for his early aughts output (which in my humble opinion, was one of his best periods. War of the Worlds, Minority Report, A.I. GTFO if you don't think those movies rip). 

Anywho. 

As soon as the movie started I instantly fell victim to Cruise's charisma. In the movie he plays a hot shot dock worker (!) and deadbeat Daddy to Dakota Fanning and that other guy. Cruise immediately IS this character. He doesn't get either of his kids, but we believe he loves them. When shit goes down, he protects his kids. He has the correct instinct to get the kids to their mother, because she'll know what to do. This is a very quick summation of the very, very good work Cruise does in the movie, but simply put, I believed him. I believed that he was scared for his life and for his kids lives. I believed he would do anything to keep them alive. He did great work in that movie, and I personally find it crazy and offensive that it's not more talked about not only for Cruise's sake but for Spielberg's. The movie is incredible. 

SO. 

I've decided to look into Tom's catalogue and talk about what made me love Tom Cruise in the first place. I'm starting with Jerry Maguire because I fucking want to, and will follow Tom until about 2002 territory with Minority Report, at least at first. I've seen these Cruise movies countless times, but less so in the last 10 years, and I want to remember more the Cruise I grew up with. And then, I'll dig deeper. Top Gun. Cocktail. Days of Thunder. Far and Away. Interview with the Vampire, Eyes Wide Shut, Magnolia, etc. I want to talk about Tom before he was crazy, when he was the world's biggest movie star making the best movies. But for real, I'll probably talk about most the Mission: Impossibles, Collateral, The Last Samurai, and Jack Reacher too. I love Tom Cruise. I want to talk about Tom Cruise because I like movies, and he makes good movies. 

So in the next few days I'll be back here with some thoughts on Jerry Maguire (which i revisited today), so until then, good day. 

I love you, 

but most of all, 

I like movies. 

Out of Sight

Out of Sight is cool.

Out of Sight is real cool.

Out of Sight is real fucking cool.

How many times can I saw cool in this post?*

The film stars George Clooney as Jack Foley, a career bank robber on the run, and Jennifer Lopez as the cop after him. The film also carries a supporting cast that includes Don Cheadle, Luiz Guzman, Albert Brooks, Steve Zahn (Long Live Steve Zahn), Catherine Keener, Dennis Farina and Michael Keaton!

Hoo boy this movie hit the spot. It had been quite a few years since I watched it last, and it was a great reminder that this is without a doubt one of my favorite movies. Which isn't surprising really, I've long since been identified as a "Soder-Boy", a devout and loving admirer of the film's director Steven Soderbergh (Ocean's Trilogy, The Limey, Traffic). Oh yea, I'm a big, big Soder-Boy. The dude is fearless, and even though he doesn't always hit the mark, I love that he always takes a swing (sport reference brought to you by Fuck You).

But Out of Sight works. The movie has so many cool flourishes throughout (a few choice freeze frames, for example) and its two lead actors are actually oozing chemistry (ooooooooozing). No, but really, George and Jennifer have that true blue movie star chemistry, that lightening in a bottle. Lopez has never been better (HUSTLERS OWNED THOUGH) and this is easily my favorite Clooney performance (I'd say his best is Michael Clayton). In the films' infamous car trunk scene, George and Jennifer are in the trunk of a car, talking to each other for the first time, as criminal and hostage, and Clooney effortlessly goes from criminal, to buffoon, to charming, to sexy, to funny.

But there are also scenes where he is as cool as cool gets. In fact, just as The Hunt for Red October molded my inner perception of Sean Connery, Out of Sight gave me the way I immediately picture George Clooney. Cool. Just fucking cool. *wipes drool*

Y'all, Out of Sight is just fucking good. A top auteur director working with one of his greatest collaborators at the very beginning of their relationship. V cool.


Movies are real cool, dudes. I like movies.

I'll be back here soon, y'all.

*10

The Hunt for Red October and Crimson Tide

I made a mistake.



I did something I shouldn't have.


I FUCKED up.



I watched The Hunt for Red October right before Crimson Tide.


*Deep Breath*


That was a mistake. It was my mistake, and my mistake alone. The thing is, I love Crimson Tide. It's a stylish Tony Scott action/thriller with Gene Hackman (HACK-MAN) and Scott's frequent collaborator, Mr. Denzel Washington. The movie is a well made popcorn flick with a cast that is simply too incredible to name everyone here (Long Live Steve Zahn), and the back and forth between Hackman (HACK-MAN) and Washington is just some plain ol' good shit.

I actually hadn't seen Tide in a number of years, and I'm not sure I had ever actually watched my Blu Ray copy (Blu Ray baby), and for whatever reason, I had the worst itch to watch some 'Dad' thrillers. I had just recently purchased The Hunt for Red October, so this seemed like an ideal time for a double feature (The Fugitive is next!).

For reasons unknown, I had decided to watch Red October first. Could it have possibly been the fact that the movie had just turned 30? Perhaps.  Or could it have possibly been that I had purchased it on 4K Blu Ray and I'm a little bitch when it comes to that? Yes. So Red October was first.

Jesus Christ, what a fucking masterclass in action filmmaking.

John McTiernan had just put out Predator three years prior, and Die Hard a year after that. Red October was his follow up to both films. 

Let that sink in. Three action masterpieces within 3 years of each other. One after another. McTiernan was, simply put, working on another level at that time. His sense of geography is akin to Spielberg, every action is clear, every cut is precise. He cuts back and forth between different locations on a submarine, back and forth between CIA offices and Naval ships. It's never once confusing, something that has plagued action films in subsequent decades.

The pace of this film moves at lightening speed, which is all the more impressive when you realize there really aren't any traditional action scenes. No fist fights. Maybe a few bullets are shot. But it's all just a game of cat and mouse between Alec Baldwin and Sean Connery. And it's fucking exhilarating.

Speaking of Connery. Holy Shit. What a commanding performance. I didn't realize it until this viewing (and I hadn't seen this since maybe junior high), but this is how I've always pictured Sean Connery. His sense of honor, a little bit of rebellion, authority. When ever I thought of Connery, I was thinking of him in Red October. Which is insane. James Bond. The Untouchables. The Rock. Indiana Jones' Dad. But my mental image of Sean Connery was him in this movie. He was so good, it actually imprinted on my brain.

But McTiernan. Man. One particular sequence involving a deep ocean canyon and a cocky Connery is an absolute all timer. The man just knew exactly how to get the heart racing, and like his previous films, knew exactly how to cast and create iconic characters. This man basically molded my action childhood, and I feel ashamed that I hadn't revisited this one sooner.


Crimson Tide never stood a chance.


Anywho, I'm gonna do this more. I recently published another post, it's a little personal (ew), but its there if you wanna poke this brain. Like I said, I think I'm gonna watch The Fugitive soon, so I'll be back on here to talk about that ASAP (or whatever the hell else I decide watch if anything).

BYE

I still like movies.

Hello world, it's me Jordan (Robert). There have been some changes in my life since I last wrote in this here thing. I'm engaged again. That's cool. I'm about to be a Step Dad. That's terrifying. I'm about to be 34. That's fine.

I still like movies, though. Very much so. I usually watch at least one movie a day. I hear it keeps the social life away. LOL. Anyway, like I said, I like movies. No matter if times are good or bad, I like movies. One thing I've noticed though, is how much I miss writing about movies.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I'll talk about movies with anyone willing to listen (usually just my Mommy) all day long, but I miss taking those conversations and thoughts and conclusions and writing them out. I used to do it regularly, mostly when I was married and living in North Carolina. That was a hard time for me. I never made many friends when I moved, and I had missed my old friends and family something fierce. My marriage at the time seemed fine, but later I realized it was during those years that it began to deteriorate. And rather than actively deal with my loneliness (which eventually blossomed into a full on case of depression) or work on my marriage, I turned to movies. Oh and maybe too much booze (BUT I'LL DEAL WITH THAT LATER).

But I wrote about movies, just not on here but for a local newspaper in North Carolina. My taste in movies didn't match very well with theirs, but it was a cool opportunity and I got to see movies for free.

As I mentioned before, I'm giving marriage another go. I'm excited about it. I feel like I learned a lot last time, and I'm ready to take that knowledge and apply it with my new wife (who is pretty fucking cool if I do say so). But even as I enter this new and exciting chapter in my life, I find myself distracted. Stressed. Anxious.


In recent years I helped create Playtime Comedy with three of my best friends. It's been an amazing creative outlet. But recently, due to schedules mostly and some thing called a "Pandemic", we haven't had much chance to get together. The lack of a creative outlet has led to a serious creative dry spell for me, which in turn ignites that anxiety I'm working so hard to control.

I also recently made the decision to start taking antidepressants and anxiety medication to help with my depression and anxiety. Finally admitting the fact that i have both anxiety and depression immediately feels like admitting defeat. I'm finally admitting I'm broken.


"You can't think that way." "You're taking the first step!" "There are only three Die Hard movies!" Wait, I mean yes, but, shit. Whatever. Look this shit is scary is all I'm saying.

It's a tough spot to be in for sure. I want so badly to create yet cannot no matter how much I try. Now yes, times will change, schedules will clear, writers block goes away (if it ever really existed). But right now, I need something. I need a release. I need to talk about movies. You don't have to listen of course (I'm also assuming you can't read), but I'm going to use this space to talk about movies, because I like movies, and that's cool and stuff.

CREED II

CREED II is a rousing sequel to Ryan Coogler's masterpiece, CREED, and while it fails to live up to heights of its predecessor, the tried and true formula the franchise helped mold proves as solid as ever, cementing the fact that I'll never not cry during one of these movies. Even ROCKY V. (HEY FUCK YOU, PAL) 

I'd like to let the record show at this time that ROCKY IV is my least favorite ROCKY picture. 

Calm down. Shhh. It's OK. It's OK. I never said I didn't like it. I mean, I love to drink beer and watch Stallone stroll through the 90 minute montage as much as the next person, OK? But ROCKY IV is Stallone at his most vain and over the top (LOL), and what's worse, ROCKY IV feels like the cliff notes version of a ROCKY movie. Apollo Creed's death simply doesn't hit in the same way Mickey's death does in ROCKY III, which is kind of crazy when that event is what truly drove Apollo and Rocky to finally become best friends as opposed to just respected peers. The film drowns in 80's excess, showing off household robots and diving headfirst into Rocky ending the cold war. Full stop, ROCKY IV is fucking ridiculous. ROCKY V has probably aged the worst, but I respect it's efforts in trying to get back to the roots of the characters and remember that they are the reason we love these movies so much, and not just watching them train in montages. 

However, a funny thing happened. CREED gave ROCKY IV meaning. I go into more detail here, but let's face it, if you've watched CREED then you know what I mean. All of a sudden it felt like the movie had a righteous place in the ROCKY franchise. 

And then CREED II just goes ahead and makes ROCKY IV a better movie. 

The film opens with Adonis, again played by an electrifying Michael B. Jordan, becoming World Champion, just like his father and Rocky before him. He's about to propose to Bianca, who might I add is expecting their first baby. All is well. Until it isn't, of course. 

Honestly, the actual plot of CREED II is fairly obvious and not in the least bit surprising. How can it be, 8 films in? CREED found a way to make the franchise feel fresh and revitalized again, but CREED II never quite matches that energy and leans just a little too far into the formula to become another classic like the first and seventh entries. 

BUT. 

And there is a but. 

But, as I mentioned before, the formula still works. And it works really well. 

Dolph Lundgren is of course back as Ivan Drago. Lundgren has never been the greatest actor, and to be fair, he never really tried to be. But he does have a certain look about him. He stands out, to say the least, and age has served him well it seems, as Ivan in CREED II looks as if life has chewed him up and spit him out. Lundgren has pain and regret all over his face throughout the entire film. In fact, the movie does a great job of getting you to understand the damage that Rocky inflicted in their last fight, and how that has pushed the man towards revenge, even at the expense of his relationship with his own son. 

Speaking of the Drago boy, Florian Munteanu plays Creed's opponent, and he proves to be the most intimidating villain the franchise has had since at least Clubber Lang in ROCKY III. Not only does he have the look of a dude who could beat all life out of me, but the weight of thirty years of training and hatred towards the Creeds and Balboas hangs over his head and gives a clear and concise motivation for the character. 

Stallone once again brings tears to my eyes almost every damn minute he's on screen, which actually isn't as much as you'd think, but still, it's clear he has deep love and understanding of Rocky, even as he continues to fight the battles life throws at him, like the diminishing relationship with his son. I really don't know what else to say about Rocky other than he's my favorite film character of all time and as long as Stallone is willing to play him I'll keep watching. 

Michael B. Jordan, though. God damn. The dude is ferocious here, giving everything as if everything is on the line. And of course, for Adonis, everything is. Not just his legacy, but his family. He risks everything by accepting this fight knowing that he could die just like his father, and Jordan shows every ounce of fear, anger and determination with perfection. 

Like any good ROCKY picture, we see the hero fall. And it hurts. It hurts because we care about them. It hurts because we want them to better themselves, to overcome the toughest obstacle. To win. 

And like any good ROCKY picture, it feels oh so good when that iconic theme comes on at the most crucial moment during the fight, the moment where it all counts. I'll never get tired of that feeling. 

CREED II isn't a masterpiece like CREED. CREED II relies on nostalgia for it's success whereas CREED seemingly created nostalgia and formed its own legacy. But that's not a diss. CREED II makes ROCKY IV matter, it gives ROCKY IV weight and meaning 30 years after the fact by examining the toll a legacy can take. 

CREED II fucking rules. 

Transformers: The Last Knight (Or, How I Stopped Worrying and Remembered That I Love Michael Bay)

I used to call myself a "Bay enthusiast". Bad Boys and The Rock, coming out just a year apart from each other, were quite the one-two punch debut for the former music video and commercial director. Both of those became action staples in the Hunt household almost immediately, with The Rock in particular catching my interest as it introduced me to the one, the only, Nic Cage (ALL HAIL CAGE).

Armageddon only solidified Bay's standing in my eyes by having Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck save the world by finding and drilling oil on an asteroid racing toward Earth and saving the world's economy in the process (or wait...). Anyway, I cry every time I watch it AND GUESS WHAT I'M SMART.

But let's be real here, Bad Boys II is the greatest trash masterpiece of all time. Gleefully inappropriate, insanely over the top and filled with some of the best action that Bay has ever put on screen, Bad Boys II is what puts Bay in the Hall of Fame for me. (What Hall of Fame is that, you ask? SHUT UP).

Now, it's safe to say that in the time since, Bay has never been able to reach the heights of that buddy cop action sequel (though he tried damn hard and came close with Pain & Gain) but my love for him remained the same.

And then he made Transformers. 


Honestly, I really like the first one. Actually, I love it. It's big, it's dumb and it's fun. I think at the time Bay was the perfect, and perhaps, only choice to bring such a stupid cartoon (get over it, nerds) to the big screen. Pure popcorn entertainment.

The second is a chore to sit through admittedly, but I remember liking it (though it's possible I was clouded by my Bay enthusiasm), and I think the third one gets a lot of undeserved hate, as it features a ton of great and ridiculous action.


*Sigh* But Age of Extinction is borderline unwatchable. Clocking in at almost 3 hours, I somehow managed to watch this garbage more than once, though on my third go round (look, I'M SICK OK?) I had forgotten most of the movie and was positive I was almost finished only to discover I had over an hour left and promptly turned it off.

To me, Bay had lost it, or perhaps even worse, he no longer cared.

You see, I like movies. I know we live in a time where we are offered more than ever before, and if you're paying attention, there are actually a shit ton of great films of all shapes and sizes and budgets and blood types, easily and readily available for your viewing pleasure.

But sometimes, well, sometimes I want Michael Bay movies.

And over the course of a decade it just felt like the Transformers franchise had taken it out of Bay. Sure, he was able to sneak in the previously mentioned Pain & Gain, but the overall response to that film was mostly underwhelming, leading the director to his absolute worst effort with the fourth morphing robot movie. The Bay I knew and loved was dead. And so, it felt, was I.

So when a fifth car robot motion picture was announced with Bay directing, I really didn't care. I watched 13 Hours, and while watchable, it was still but a flicker of what the director used to be.

Transformers 5 came and went. Critics had never been kind to the franchise, but this time even audiences didn't care, as the film delivered the lowest box office grosses of all five movies. "So what?", I thought, as I watched Batman & Robin for the 47th time.


Then something funny happened. I saw that Transformers: The Last Knight was streaming on Hulu, and wouldn't you know it, I felt a hint of curiosity. I had heard nothing good of the Mark Wahlberger blockbuster, and his presence certainly didn't help the previous installment. But still, I had to know.


So I did it. I fucking watched it. I fucking watched the entire goddamn 2 hour and 20 minute thing.

And I kind of liked it.


Be careful. I'm not saying it's good. It's just, well, it's crazy. It begins with Merlin (you know, the wizard) drunk on a horse on his way to meet with King Arthur and all of them other knights to fight side by side with Transformers to save the world. I don't really know why and I don't really care, but I can say I thought it was very silly and very insane in a way that reminded me of the Bay I once loved.

Cut forward to present day where transformers are being hunted by the TRF (whatever) and are seeking sanctuary either in Cuba (!) or Wahlbergies junk yard. The Merlin stuff eventually comes back into play over an hour later, though I couldn't tell you how, but honestly I was just glad to see that Bay was back to not giving a shit, but in a good way.

The action scenes here have more life in them than the entirety of the previous entry, and I think I actually laughed like twice at some of the jokes, both times coming from a butler transformer who is actually the only funny thing to ever come out of the franchise. (Seriously, the transformers themselves have always been the worst part of these movies, with blood boiling dialogue and even worse racial stereotypes).

More than anything, it seemed like Bay was trying again. He even got Anthony Hopkins, who is not a stranger to simply collecting a paycheck, to give his all even while arguing with John Turturro over the phone about....well honestly it doesn't fucking matter. Point is even Hopkins was having a good time.

Shit. I realize this turned into a short essay about loving and missing Michael Bay, and I'm basically just giving Transformers 5 a back handed compliment by saying that I wanted to watch trash and trash is what I got, but I have to admit that it gave me a little hope. I could see Bay having some fun again and I really hope he gets his groove back.


Here's hoping that he is forever done with robots that change, and that he gets back to making good, old fashion action Bayhem like he did in the 90s. Give Nic a call, Michael. I think y'all could be good for each other again.

The Fate of the Furious

Hello again my babies. I have risen from the grave on this day of worship to bring you my thoughts on the eighth installment of The Fast and the Furious franchise. 

As most of you know, I love these films. I live these films. Ride or die, I will watch these films until the end of days. 

The Fate of the Furious is no exception. Loaded with insane action, wonderful one liners and a budding romance between The Rock and Jason Statham, Fate proves that this franchise is simply invincible. 

The main plot involves Dom being blackmailed (by Charlize Theron of all fucking people) into betraying his family and going rogue, forcing his former teammates to rally against their leader and save the world from World War III. 

Let me repeat that. The Fate of the Furious is basically about stopping World War III. Here's hoping the next installment is about stopping World War IV. 

Jesus Christ I just love these movies. Not only do they know exactly what they are (FUN), but ever since Fast Five the action on display is legit great and absolutely bonkers. 

Fate is of course the first film not to feature Paul Walker's character Brian O'Connor. Walker was never the most versatile actor, but his chemistry with his cast mates was real, and his presence, while still felt in Fate, is also sorely missed. As much as I love Vin, his hulk of a Dom is not enough to carry these movies by himself. 

Which I think is why the filmmakers made sure to beef up Dwayne Johnson's role this time out. Dwayne is on fire here, giving so many amazing lines involving punching asses and brushing teeth. The man sweats charisma and is completely aware of what kind of movie he is in and plays it to 11 and I couldn't love it more. 

Except then he becomes best friends with Jason Statham and I do love it more. 

Now, there has been some controversy over Statham's character this time out. As you all know, Statham killed our beloved Han in Furious 6 (or Tokyo Drift, depending on how sworn to the timeline you are) so the fact that he blends right into the crew in this one is a little jarring, even with a franchise as silly as this. 

But you know, one of the things I love most about these movies is their willingness for consistency and continuity, especially with character interaction. If you're family, you're family forever. If you're not, you're fucked forever. So in theory, Statham should be banned and tortured and forever fucked. 

BUT, Fate not only makes the wise decision to pair Statham up with Dwayne as often as possible, but it also makes the wise choice to utilize funny Jason Statham. 

Now look, Statham is always great. He fights great. He looks great. But he's also really fucking funny. This should be no surprise, as he displayed these chops all the way back in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch years ago. And we all know how good the Crank movies are of course. Oh, and lets all admit he was the only good thing about Spy. 

Holy shit, why doesn't this guy do more comedy?

Anyway, Statham fights multiple dudes and has a gunfight on a jet all while holding a baby. So yea, I forgive him for killing Han. 

Another highlight of the film is a prison break sequence with Johnson and Statham that is as ridiculous and gravity defying as we've come to expect, and it's simply wonderful. Seriously, if the last two movies are just these two I would be more than happy. 

The film has a true secret weapon though. A true stroke of genius. The casting of Scott Eastwood. Scott is the son of Clint, of course. and he is the spitting image of his dad. However, he got zero of his screen presence. He is awful and sucks the energy out of every scene he's in. I mean, this guy fucking sucks. Was it possible they just cast him thanks to his famous last name? Sure. But I've become convinced it was for something much more maniacal. The filmmakers decided they needed to let the world know just how much this dude sucks, because who else could be truly roasted by Tyrese in every scene they are in and it seem legitimate? Why else would you put this stupid idiot next to the charismatic behemoth that is Dwayne Johnson? WHY ELSE WOULD YOU HAVE THIS MORON STAND NEXT TO KURT. FUCKING. RUSSELL if for nothing else but to show how awful he is? 

Oh hell, he doesn't ruin the movie in the slightest, but he sucks. 

I digress. 

You guys, The Fate of the Furious is great. Statham and Johnson are the highlights, but the action is as good and goofy as ever and its theme of family above all else is here through and through. Not a fan? Then don't watch it. Duh. Otherwise, grab a corona and enjoy. 

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Spoilers.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is a frustrating experience. A reaction to both the criticism Man of Steel received for its collateral damage and the rise of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. A hail mary attempt to keep the DC Cinematic in play, and while my boy Ben Affleck kills it (and many others) in his debut as The Batman, BvS proves to be a shining example of how not to do it.

Batman is my favorite superhero. Period. The world's greatest detective (suck it, Sherlock) is able to outsmart anyone and anything. He's a fascinating character for a filmmaker to explore, and as a film fan I feel lucky to have so many great adaptations of him. And again, Affleck does a great job, but why oh why can't they figure out Superman as well as they did 40 years ago?

Overall, I liked what Zack Snyder did with Man of Steel. I think Kevin Costners casting as Jonathon Kent was a stroke of genius, but the way they kill him was one of many misunderstandings about Superman the filmmaker had about the character. In just about every other iteration, Pa Kent dies of a heart attack, something that not even Superman can prevent. "All those powers.." says a young Clark in 1978's Superman: The Movie.  It's the moment that drives Superman to want to save as many lives as he can. To live up to his adoptive fathers wish of becoming the man he knew he could be. But in Man of Steel, Jonathon instills a mistrust in humanity to his son. "My father believed the world wasn't ready", and following his fathers wishes, Clark lets him die in a tornado because he believes humans can't take it.

Points, I suppose, for trying a different take. It certainly lends an extra feeling of isolation for this alien, but it just doesn't work. Kal-El is born a hero. He doesn't learn it.

But that's the take we got. I think Henry Cavill is great in the role, and with the right script I think this guy could absolutely kill it. I still don't know how to feel about Superman killing Zod, but it certainly seemed that in the sequel he would be haunted by the action, and would do everything in his power to never do it again. I thought it was a good springboard for the next film, and a great opportunity to right some wrongs.

Oof.

Aside from Batman killing a ton of people (more on that later), BvS has no idea what to do with Superman. The future leader of the League the studio so desperately wants to set up, and they can't even repeat what they've already gotten right before.

Here, Kal-El is obsessed with his public opinion rating. There are some good ideas at play about how humanity would react to a literal God coming to Earth, and in Man of Steel, Superman deals with the military in a very Superman way. He basically says, "Hey, I'm a good guy. Lets be cool with each other". But in BvS, he becomes overly mopey about how people don't like him. He even goes on sabbatical at one point because he is so sad.

What a puss.

He often becomes angry at the drop of a hat (yes, I get Lex kidnaps his mother, but he has like, super hearing and X-ray vision and the power of flight and stuff) and his obsession with The Batman just doesn't really make sense. As Clark Kent the reporter, I get why he is so interested in a vigilante, but why he, as Superman, would actually interrupt the caped crusader in the middle of apprehending criminals to crash his batmobile to say "Hey stop, stop it" is beyond me.

It's a huge bummer because Superman is just as fascinating a character as Batman. To have someone who is so heroic, so bright in the darkest of times is inspiring, and could and should be a great contrast to Batman. But in BvS, Superman is more downbeat and depressing than anyone. Even with his ultimate sacrifice (which could have been avoided if he just gave the kryptonite spear to Wonder Woman, who clearly was capable of taking a hit or two from Doomsday) it never feels like Superman is the hero I grew up with.

I hear the term "studio interference" far too often from fans and viewers when complaining about blockbusters and superhero movies. I have no doubt that it exists, but I feel that more often than not, things just didn't work out with whatever movie. Maybe they were working against a release date, or maybe they just couldn't figure it out. But with BvS, it feels like Warner Bros. was desperate, which wasn't the case with Man of Steel. Any issue I have with MoS was because of a deliberate storytelling choice, but with BvS, it seems Snyder had to succumb to notes and notes of what to follow. To make sure X and Y were included.

I like Snyder, I feel I should say. I think given the freedom and time he could make a good Superman movie. But this apparently wasn't it. And if the rest of the DCCU is to follow the course that has been set with BvS, then I'm not sure I want this guy involved anymore.

So that's the bad, how about the good?

As I mentioned, my boy Affleck kills it as Bruce Wayne/Batman. I love seeing an older, angrier Batman onscreen. Unlike Superman, Batman's motivation in BvS is clear. He is scared by the appearance of super humans, and I completely bought into the fact that he would react with great fear and motivation, and the arc that follows is completely organic, eventually becoming the one urging for the formation of a league to be ready for whatever comes next.

It's a great performance and I think given the right script Affleck could become the ultimate onscreen Batman.

Let's just hope he isn't as willing to kill in the future.

*Throws hands up in the air* Look, maybe it's because BvS gets Superman so wrong that I'm not more bothered that they got Batman just as wrong. I mean, it is upsetting that they have Bruce Wayne repeatedly committing the act of murder that inspired him to become a vigilante to stop all acts of murder, but you know, whatever.

And if you were really reaching, you could argue that you never actually see him kill anyone, all the goons he blows up with his batmobile grenades have some sort of non lethal element to them, or that the guy with the flame thrower was just severely burned never to fully recover. (But he killed them). Oh, and as a friend pointed out, his entire plan hinges on premeditated murder.

Again, maybe it's because I've been so fortunate enough as a fan to have the Nolan Batfilms that I'm not as upset about how wrong they got Batman. Or maybe it's because Affleck is so good. The fact is I'm more upset that they got Superman so wrong.


I forgot I was talking about the good for a second. That includes Wonder Woman. Her appearance is all too brief (WITH ZERO INTERACTION WITH SUPERMAN), but it's extremely memorable and Gal Gadot will surely kill it with her solo film. Even her theme stands out as highlight of the movie.

As a setup film, it's mildly successful. We get glimpses of The Flash, Aquaman, and Cyborg. It's neat, but only time will tell how these characters will actually work together onscreen. I hate to bring up the comparison, but Marvel cast its Avengers expertly, and we had a chance to get to know each character with their own film, allowing us to get at least an idea of how they would react to each other once united. As of now, we are almost completely blind going into Justice League.

It's a risk, and based on BvS, I'm not 100% sure it will pay off.

Top Ten of 2015

Dudes. Hello. Per usual I have my list ready the weekend of the Academy Awards. Even with this extra time I give myself I still didn't have a chance to see all the movies I wanted to. But that's life! Before we get into the good stuff, I will first just randomly list a lot of movies that I really liked in no particular order.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Avengers: Age of Ultron, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay-Part 2, The Martian, Cinderella, Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation, The Revenant, San Andreas, Kingsman: The Secret Service, Trainwreck, Sisters, The Big Short, The Hateful Eight, Sicario, Krampus, Crimson Peak, Steve Jobs, Carol, Anomalisa, The Overnight, Tangerine, Kumiko: The Treasure Hunter. 

Again, those are just a few of the movies I saw and really enjoyed. 2015 was a pretty great year overall, with the one true stinker of the bunch being Jurassic World. What a true piece of shit that movie was. As Tarantino says, "Never hate a movie!", but Jurassic World is fucking awful and is worth hating.

OK. Drum roll, please.


Thank you.

Here they are, the top ten movies of 2015 according to me, Robert Jordan Hunt.

10- What We Do In the Shadows- One of the few comedies where you can discover a new joke every time you watch it. Director/Writer duo Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi (Flight of the Conchords) have fashioned a hilarious and oddly heartfelt comedy focusing on vampires and their daily adventures. Numerous times this year I've had bits and lines from the movie just jump into my consciousness and make me giggle. It's my opinion that 2015 wasn't the greatest year for big screen comedy, but What We Do In the Shadows was easily the funniest.

9- Inside Out- Pixar, you're still great! You're still so very, very great! I know you can't win them all (The Good Dinosaur) but it's nice to know you're still trying. Bing Bong was the second most emotional moment I had at the movies in 2015, and luckily I wasn't the only one in the theater feeling the same way. Such good stuff.

8-Ant-Man- OK, I already feel kind of defensive about this choice. First, I believe that Avengers: Age of Ultron is a lot better than it was received, and second, I think people really glossed over this gem of a flick. It's very enjoyable on first watch. Funny, focused, and filled with a fucking dynamite cast (Michael Pena FOREVER), Ant-Man is just a very enjoyable movie. But on my second viewing I realized just how great it really is and why Marvel is going to stay at the forefront of comic book movies for the foreseeable future. Not only did Marvel follow-up one of the most anticipated sequels of all time with a small heist flick, but they did so with one of the most charismatic actors in the game, Paul Rudd. This movie has heart bursting out of its eyes, and like the best of all the Marvel movies, it never forgets to be funny (MICHAEL PENA). Cannot wait for Ant-Man and The Wasp.

7-Ex Machina- What must it be like to be Oscar Isaac right now? The guy has had a few insanely good years. And thanks to work in Star Wars and (more importantly) Ex Machina, it seems that he won't be going anywhere anytime soon. Shit, I'm even looking forward to him in all that goofy ass make up on X-Men: Apocalypse. Anyway, first time director Alex Garland crafted an intricate scifi drama focusing on gender politics, artificial intelligence, and so, so much more. Alicia Vikander's work as the robot Ava cannot be overstated. Isaac and Domhall Gleeson are great, but this movie doesn't work without Vikander. Yay scifi!

6-It Follows- Everything about this movie hit the sweet spot for me. The synth score, tone, tension. It just all felt right. This is how I like my horror, filled with ambiguity and interpretation. Maika Monroe is also making quite the name for herself in genre, thanks to this and last year's outstanding The Guest. Here's hoping she can make ID4 2 just as compelling (nothing will really make that movie compelling, but it should be pretty silly, and that's OK).

5- Furious 7- This was the single most emotional moment in a theater for me last year. Paul Walker and Vin Diesel have one last goodbye on the meta highway of Hollywood and the tears just kept streaming down my fucking face. Such a wonderful goodbye from a franchise that has focused on family since the beginning. Scoff all you want, but these movies have never tried to be anything else than what they are. Director James Wan (Saw, The Conjuring) proved that he can handle big budget action with the best of them, and I'm legit bummed that he's not coming back for Fast & Furious 8. I'm just so grateful that these movies will never end and Vin will never die.

4-Bridge of Spies- Hey guys, a new Spielberg movie came out this year and it really seemed like no one noticed. That kind of pisses me off! This movie is so, so good. The master makes it all seem so easy, so much information is given to the audience with the simple movement of the camera or a brilliantly paced edit whereas other, lesser directors would rely on exposition to inform their audience. I've heard this film called "lesser Spielberg" and I just don't get it. No, it's not as good as E.T., Jaws, or Saving Private Ryan, but it's really fucking good. This guy is still crafting cinema in a near perfect fashion after 40 years and shows no sign of slowing down. Watch this movie and bow to the fucking master.

3-Magic Mike XXL- This is straight up one of the most positive movies to ever exist. About nothing more than friendship and equal love and attention among the sexes, XXL is easily one of the best films of last year. This is the movie that the first Magic Mike was advertised as (not a knock! I love the first!). Our favorite dances go on one last road trip to a stripper convention. Not to save a friend or the ol' hangout. They go just to go. There are no stakes, there isn't even a grand prize for best stripping. They just want to hang out as a group one last time doing what they love to do, and it is a joyous adventure. In all seriousness, get off you high fucking horse and bask in the positivity that is Magic Mike XXL

2-Creed- Rocky Balboa is my favorite fictional character that is not Batman. Sylvester Stallone created one of the most enduring characters of all time in Rocky, and has somehow made that character just as interesting and heartbreaking after 40 years. But Creed is not his movie. Focusing on Apollo Creed's son, Michael B. Jordan deftly takes the lead and is just as likable and courageous as Balboa. These characters just mean so much to me. This franchise is so imminently watchable, and I can't imagine not watching them close together, just to soak up the actual lifetime journey we've had with them. I only had the chance to see this once before making this list, and I think if I had watched it just one more time it would be in the top spot. The only Oscar that really matters to me this weekend is Best Supporting Actor, for which Stallone 100% deserves. If he doesn't win, the world will end.

1- Mad Max: Fury Road.- Duh. I mean, duh. I've watched this at least 5 times and it is just as exhilarating every time. Furiosa is an all timer, and will easily go down in history as one of the greats, right up there with Ripley and Marion Ravenwood. Look, you've watched it, so you get it, right?


There you have it, dudes. That's all she wrote. Like every year, I mean to get on here more, but then that doesn't happen. At least we have this list. We'll always have that.

CREED

Rocky Balboa is one of the all time great characters. ROCKY is one of the all time great movies. The franchise, like the character, has defied all the odds and stuck around for 40 years. There were ups and downs of course, but the sixth and intended last entry in 2006 proved that Stallone knew exactly how to retire the character. I find the first and sixth entries to be wonderful bookends to Rocky, and all would have been well if we never saw the character again.

But then director Ryan Coogler came up with CREED and proved that the champ still wasn't done.

Obviously, the movie is called CREED and not ROCKY, so Stallone takes a step back here. And that's OK, because Michael B. Jordan is great in the title role. His Adonis Creed is the result of an affair his father Apollo had just before his fight in ROCKY IV. His mother died while he was young and Apollo's widow tracked him down and took him in. Against her wishes he pursues boxing. His natural talent gets him quite far, but not far enough, and eventually he is drawn to Philadelphia in the hopes to get his father's greatest opponent to train him. Cue the montage.

Like I said, Jordan is great. Adonis is desperate to make his own way and thus fights under his mothers name, but he is also desperate to make a connection with his father. He immediately identifies Rocky as family, even calling him "Unc" (uncle) from their first meeting. Jordan sells all of this expertly, with anger, determination, and even excitement all screaming through his eyes. There is of course great physicality on display, but Jordan manages to say it all with very little.

The movie touches all the bases we expect it to with the training montages, the running through Philadelphia, and the edge of your seat fight sequences, but like the best of the franchise CREED shines when its characters are just sitting together and talking. Adonis gets a great love interest in Bianca, played by Tessa Thompson. Their first date is simply them talking over dinner, and director Coogler keeps it simple, allowing these two to get to know each other. They're two very likable characters, and while they don't quite live up to the pairing of Rocky and Adrian in the first film, they make for a great pair, pushing each other to be better. Great work from all involved.

But guys, Stallone is heartbreaking here. I honestly think this is his best performance. He has always had a bit of a droopy face, but age has exaggerated that droopiness, and with it comes an extra layer of sadness. Not only is Adrian gone, but so is Paulie. And his son, only seen in picture form, has moved to Vancouver. It doesn't help that the picture is of Stallone's real life son who passed away in 2012. UGH. But Stallone brings all of that baggage with him, and he finds a new reason to keep fighting. A new reason to give his all once again.

There is a lot of nostalgia at play in CREED, but none of it feels like fan service. It references the previous films but it doesn't rely on them. It's a natural extension. Everything that Rocky has been through these last 40 years is still there, and now he is able to put all of that knowledge and experience to use for the son of his greatest opponent. And I cried like a baby.


There are two main fight sequences in the movie, and the first is done in an incredible single take. The tension is high and Coogler puts you in the action and makes you feel every hit without sacrificing the geography of the scene.

But guys, the second and main fight. Guys. The Cold War isn't at stake here. No one has to avenge Mickey or Apollo. Adonis just has to prove himself, and the stakes couldn't be higher.

Some of the best moments of my movie-going career have been at the Alamo Drafthouse. The crowds there are exactly the kind of crowds you want to see a movie with. They cheer and laugh at all the right moments. The entire theater is united for two brief hours.

I did not see CREED at an Alamo Drafthouse.

But during that final fight, when Rocky's theme finally plays for the first and only time in the movie, the crowd gasped, and each and everyone of us in the theater instantly leaned forward, glued to the screen. This fight mattered. It meant everything. And it was glorious.

CREED is an amazing film. It confidently ranks among the best of the franchise and reminds us that life is the greatest fight of all. Cheesy? Yea, probably, but it's still fucking great.

The Sand

Well this opportunity fell in my lap. I was given the chance to review The Sand, a creature feature about a sand dwelling monster praying on a group of hungover college students who got more than they bargained for after a night of partying at the beach.

The film's press release describes itself as a loving homage to B-horror films like Tremors, and while I can't quite say that The Sand is anywhere near as funny or memorable as that great Bacon horror-comedy, the film still manages to do quite a bit with an equally silly premise and single location.

The movie starts off with a party fueled prologue that drops some very minor hints as to how the creature arrives on the beach, though it wisely avoids any real explanation, instead just taking its premise and running with it. The rest of the film follows a who's who of standard horror characters (The Blonde, The Jock, The Guy Best Friend, The Ex-Girlfriend) as they drop one by one trying to figure out how to get escape with their limbs and lives intact.

The Sand establishes its rules early on. If your skin touches the sand, the creature will slowly suck you in, tearing away skin and body parts along the way.  As with any good monster movie, a lot of the fun comes with watching the characters try, and fail, to escape their horrible situation.

Now, writers Alex Greenfield and Ben Powell have made the welcome decision to actually make the characters smart and think out their actions, a rarity in the horror genre. Each time someone suggests an idea of what to do or how to escape, at least one other person offers a reason of why it works or why it doesn't, and it actually makes sense. It adds quite a bit of suspense and surprise to the proceedings, making trying to figure who dies next all the more complicated.

The cast is lively and game, and director Isaac Gabaeff helps the film fly by with its quick pace. The low budget is well hidden for the most part, with most of the big effects being saved for the finale. Some of the bloodier parts rely more on digital effects than I usually prefer, but the kills are slow and nasty as they should be in a film like this, which helps make up the difference.

Overall, The Sand is a quick and fun little monster flick that wears its B-horror movie roots on its sleeve. So if watching attractive twenty-somethings die one by one, check it out on VOD and DVD October 13.

Top Ten of 2014

Hey dudes. Last year was a pretty damn good time at the movies. So good that I still haven't had the chance to see all the ones I wanted to. Shit like Top Five, Whiplash, Foxcatcher, INHERENT VICE, and A Most Violent Year. There are others of course, and I'll get to them soon enough.

But for now I'd like to talk about some movies that I did see. First, I'm just gonna list off some movies that I really liked but don't feel like explaining why. So here that goes. The Hunger Games: Mockingjay-Part 1, The Lego Movie, X-Men: Days of Future Past, 22 Jump Street, Interstellar, Neighbors, The Interview, The One I Love, Noah, Lucy, Godzilla, Wild, Boyhood, Begin Again. Sabotage, Obvious Child, Nymphomaniac volumes I & II, Joe, The Guest, Enemy, Blue Ruin, A Most Wanted Man, Only Lovers Left Alive, Cold in July, Under The Skin. Shit man, I'm sure there are numerous films I'm forgetting, but these are the ones I remembered seeing and really liking while scouring Box Office Mojo.

And then were some films that I absolutely fucking loved that have just missed my top ten. Let's take a moment now and remember those that came THIS close to being honored.

Selma- Oof, what a movie. I realize the Oscars don't really mean much, but come on dudes. How could you screw this one up? Featuring a monumental performance from David Oyelowo as Martin Luther King, Jr, Selma is the movie Lee Daniels' The Butler wanted to be. A true movie of the moment, Selma features incredible control from director Ava DuVerrnay. Oh, and that script. The filmmakers did not have the rights to any of Dr. Kings speeches, and were forced to completely make up the ones featured in the film. Holy shit they do a great job. Not only do they capture the voice and power of King, but they write the best monologues of the year, period.

Edge of Tomorrow- My love of Tom Cruise should be new to none of you. Edge of Tomorrow only strengthens that love. Smart, funny and exciting, this movie was easily one of the best that came out in the summer months. Fucking watch it already.

Ok, the moment you (as in YOU, the one person who is reading this (me)) have all been waiting for, my favorite movies from 2014.

10. Guardians of the Galaxy- This movie rules. Chris Pratt rules. Zoe Saldana rules. Dave Bautista rules. Bradley Cooper rules. Vin Diesel is God. Easily one of my favorite theatrical experiences last year. Actually, this was probably the best audience I experienced in all my years in North Carolina. Everyone in the crowd was with this flick from the very beginning. That's what I really love about Guardians of the Galaxy. The movie as a whole is infectious. In Marvel I trust.

9. The Raid 2- I'll get this out of the way right off the bat, I love the first movie more. BUT, The Raid 2 is without a doubt an action masterpiece. I appreciate that the two films really mesh well together, especially as a double feature. The first is a breathless piece of action film making that never wastes a moment, and the second one slows it down, allowing you to catch your breath a bit. That is, until it decides to unleash some jaw dropping action in your lap. And yes, that final knife fight is as good as everyone says.

8. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes- I actually thought this was gonna be a bit higher on the list, but then all the other movies ended up being really good, so whatever. Anyway, this flick actually hit me pretty hard. It's a return to the roots of the original films, in that it actually attempts to play with ideas in a way that only good science fiction can do. I don't think this movie is as good as the originals are, but it comes damn close. Ugh, and that tank sequence. So good. ALSO, just give Andy Serkis all of it. Everything. The man is so god damned good that he deserves it all.

7. Nightcrawler- If Jake Gyllenhaal ever wins an Oscar, it's because he wasn't nominated for this movie. That's not entirely accurate of course, but you know, it is. Moving right along, Gyllenhaal's portrayal of Lou Bloom is an all-timer, a true cinematic creep. "What if my problem wasn't that I don't understand people but that I don't like them?" One of the coldest, scariest lines in a movie all year, and Gyllenhaal crushes it. Much credit is also due to director/writer Dan Gilroy for crafting such a cold and darkly funny movie.

6. Locke- "Traffic is fine." I uttered that line to myself in my absolute perfect Tom Hardy voice more than any line from a movie this year. Thankfully, Hardy continues giving incredible vocal performances, giving myself ample opportunities to perfect my already perfect Tom Hardy impression. Taking place entirely in the titular characters' car for 90 minutes as he talks to numerous people on the phone, the film avoids any gimmicky traits and instead becomes a fascinating study of a genuinely good and deeply flawed human being. I joke about Hardy's varying accents from film to film, but the fact is the guy is an incredible actor, and Locke is the best example of that yet. Quick sidenote, I just watched The Drop before writing this article, which also features Hardy and another great accent. It's entirely possible that if I had seen the film earlier or waited longer to write this and let it simmer in my brain that the movie could sneak up on this list. Either way, watch both movies and marvel at how good Hardy is.

5. John Wick- I love this movie. It's just so confident and fun, showing us a world of hit men that's only hinted at and leaves you wanting more. The action is straight forward and easy to follow, and of course awesome. John Wick shoots so many people in the face. No really, if he has the option to shoot someone in the face, he takes it pretty much every chance has. Honestly, John Wick is as good as it is because the film makers took the time to create a sympathetic hero, design exciting action sequences, and then followed through. Here's hoping that the sequel is just as good if not better.

4. Snowpiercer- Another great science fiction flick, I tried to write up a piece about it after my initial viewing and just could not get out what I wanted to say. Not really sure why. The film is so weird and totally OK with it. Filled with a great cast and fucking incredible production design, Snowpiercer is just a delight.

3. The Grand Budapest Hotel- Full disclosure, I really didn't care much for this one upon first viewing. Maybe it was the hype train, my mood or whatever, but this was a real miss for me. I love Wes Anderson of course. His last film, Moonrise Kingdom was one of my favorites of 2012, and I love just about every one of his other films. So I knew I had to give this one another shot. I don't know exactly what changed for me on that second viewing, but everything clicked. From the wonderfully funny and melancholy performance by Ralph Fiennes (the one true Oscar snub of 2014), to the amazing production design (a theme?) and whimsical nature that Anderson has adopted as of late. Simply put, The Grand Budapest Hotel hit me like a bag of bricks. So sad, yet so funny. So bright, yet so dark. So much is going on in this movie, and all of it so, so good that there really isn't enough space anywhere to truly talk about it.

2. Gone Girl- Oh man, this movie. So cold, so ice cold. Every time I watch Gone Girl I feel like I'm being cleansed, like every bad movie I watched before hand is being washed away. David Fincher makes is look effortless, because duh. The score slowly and quietly begins to haunt its way into you, and the screenplay is so funny and has such a twisted take on marriage, media, and people in general that I can't help but love it. Seriously though, this movie is funny. The blackest of black comedy, yes, but after multiple viewings there is no way that Fincher and screenwriter Flynn didn't intend for this to be a comedy. Affleck's awkward and ill-timed rendition of the Law & Order theme makes me laugh just thinking about it. So bleak, so mean, and so fucking good.

1. Captain America: The Winder Soldier- There wasn't a movie I revisited more than Captain America: The Winter Soldier in 2014. Not only is the movie incredible by itself, it's also a huge step forward for Marvel as a studio. They go out of their way to present the stakes here, effectively destroying the cinematic universe as we've come to know it. Now of course, I can't merit this film on the effect it has on other movies, but it makes life easy when the flick is just so damn good. The action is well put together by the Russo brothers, giving everyone a moment to shine. But more importantly, they give the man out of time such a great story that helps make him so, so relevant in today's world. Chris Evans owns this character just as much as Robert Downey, Jr owns Iron Man at this point, and his unwavering belief in what is right is perfectly sold by Evans. And again, the stakes in this movie are sky high, and the movie SELLS it! If shit goes wrong here, it really goes wrong everywhere. And that's what makes Captain America: The Winter Soldier so exciting. It matters what these characters do, it matters that they succeed. I cannot wait to see what these next few flicks in the Marvel Cinematic Universe have in store, because they will be directly influenced by this movie.



So there it is, the list that no one wanted.

Will I be on here more this year? I hope so. I still like movies, as the title of this blog implies, so hopefully I can find some time in my (not) busy schedule to ramble about my incredible opinions.

Until then, so long dudes.

Cage Rage

Nicolas Cage is a goddamn hero. The man has made so many good movies. Wild at Heart, Leaving Las Vegas, Raising Arizona, Con Air, The Rock, Face/Off, Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, just to name a few. But in the past few years, he has become a bit of a laughing stock. The internet certainly hasn't helped (or has it?), nor have direct to video offerings like Stolen, The Frozen Ground, or Seeking Justice.

But then I saw Joe, David Gordon Green's drama about a guy named Joe that hates cops, people who shoot him, and homeless dads that beat their hard working sons. The film itself is fantastic, but the fucking incredible performance by Cage is what sends this already great film over the top. His character is one filled with regret, constantly having to keep his rage at bay. Even with small bursts of violence, Cage is actually quite nuanced in the film, filled with bits of odd humor and great humility that only someone like Cage can deliver.

I've met numerous people in the past few years who've never known Cage to be anything other than a joke. Granted, these people are children compared to my old age, but they've only known him as the man who saved the Declaration of Independence, or this. Or, as I mentioned earlier, as the star of numerous recent films that look and feel as if they were made 15 years ago. So I can't blame them, really. And to be fair, I also enjoy watching Cage in a film called Rage as much as the next guy. Shit, The Wicker Man is one of the all time great "How does this exist?" films, top to bottom.

But when Cage goes and delivers one of his best performances and reminds people that he really is the shit, I expect people to take notice. Yet Joe came and went. Honestly, I get it. It's a small independently made film, and was never going to get a huge release. And Green, when not working with the likes of Seth Rogen or Danny McBride, tends to make realistic and unsettling films that rarely reach mainstream audiences. But damnit, the film was great, and was even met with high praise (!) from the film community.


So what the fuck? Even with all the shit that has made up his career the last 15 years or so, Cage seems to come back every few years with a genuinely great performance. For every Windtalkers, there's an Adaptation. Bangkok Dangerous sucks, you say? How about Matchstick Men? "But Jordan, Captain Corelli's Mandolin was terrible!" "Fuck you, Lord of War is great!" Ok fine, those are all at least 10 years old. Well, he was amazing and hilarious in Kick-Ass, and his reprisal of Ghost Rider in Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance was the kind of lunacy that us true Cage fans know and love.

Why then is this beloved icon sitting in Hollywood's shitter? And before you say " Well he did it to himself, not paying taxes blah blah blah." Fuck that. Hollywood loves a comeback, and Cage's performance in Joe is just that, even though he never actually stopped being great.

Look, I guess all I'm saying is, please don't forget about the Cage. Don't forget how good he can be. How funny he can be. How fucking insane he can be. The man is a legend, and he deserves to be treated as such.

John Wick

Well guys, I love this movie. I love it so much. Even with a fair amount of hype and expectations, John Wick turned out to be every bit as enjoyable and exciting as I wanted it to be thanks to some great casting, confident world building, and amazingly staged action.

As a whole, John Wick is a pretty simple movie with a straightforward revenge plot. Wick, once a very successful hit man, is grieving the loss of his wife when he finds out she arranged for a puppy to be delivered on the night of her funeral so that he can still have something to love. Not two days later though, the scummy son of the local crime lord, who has no idea who Wick is mind you, sneaks into Wick's home, beats him to hell, steals his car and then goes and kills his god damned dog. 

Mother fucker.

 Shit gets real from there, with Wick going on quite the rampage shooting as many people in the face as possible. 

Again, this is all pretty straightforward, and some could even argue standard, for an action movie (if shooting people in the face isn't standard for an action movie by now, it certainly should be). But directors David Leitch, Chad Stahelski and writer Derek Kolstad have fun playing with the little details of the movie. 

As Wick walks back into his old life, we are given little bits of information here and there as to how this particular world of hit men works, but for the most part it's presented as is. A "take it or leave it" kind of attitude, and I love it. 

For example, as Wick digs up his old stash of weapons, included are numerous gold coins. Wick uses them to get into "The Continental", the local hotel that caters specifically to hit men. It's clear that these coins aren't just used for currency, but more of a symbol or gesture, for what exactly we're never told. The movie is filled with little nuggets like this, a history only hinted at if you will, and it makes for a lot of fun. 

The cast of this movie is also quite ridiculous. John Leguizamo and Ian McShane pop up for maybe 2 minutes each, but their respective scenes are made that much better simply because it's John Leguizamo and Ian McShane. In fact, the more I think about Leguizamo's scene the more I love it. He shows up early, right after Wick has been robbed. He runs some kind of car stealing racket, and that scum of a son shows up on his door step with Wick's car. Instantly he can tell just how bad shit is going to get, and Leguizamo sells it perfectly. 

Then you have Willem Dafoe being awesome as Willem Dafoe does. Lance Reddick and Clarke Peters ( Lt. Daniels and Det. Lester Freamon, you know, from THE WIRE) pop up briefly and it's amazing just because. Alfie Allen, of Game of Thrones fame, stars as the scummy son and he plays scummy really well. From the first moment you see him you kind of just want to see him be shot in the face. SPOILER- you get to see him shot in the face. 

I'm gonna take a moment now and brag about Adrienne Palicki. Personally, I know and love her from the Friday Night Lights television show. She was great in it (despite a horrible 2nd season plotline) but outside of that she hasn't really had the best of luck. In John Wick though, she makes the most of her bit part, including a show stopping fight between her and our titular hero. It shows just how great of a screen presence she can be, as well as how great of an action performer she is. 

This is the directing debut for Leitch and Stahelski, but if you look at their IMDB pages here and here, it will come as no surprise that the action on display in John Wick is as good as it is.  Easy to follow and filled with many, many gunshots to the face. Even in the darkest of settings, the rookie directors make sure you can tell exactly what is happening, not to mention the fact that the action itself is damn exciting. 

And of course, this brings us to Keanu. I've always loved Keanu, and always will. I honestly don't think he receives enough credit. Sure, he's not the most versatile, but paired with the right director, the right script, he can be quite effective. As he's aged ( has he?) he seems to have a self awareness now, and he's been making choices that really play to his strengths, and the action genre is most definitely one of his strengths. In short, Keanu kicks fucking ass in this movie. The directors give us numerous shots of Reeves doing his own stunts, both in fight scenes and car chases, and he's a natural. I completely believe that he could destroy me (as I believe most people could), and even better is that Reeves seems to be having just as much fun doing this stuff as the audience is watching him. 

Dudes, I really, really love this movie. It's fun, brutal and it features an adorable puppy (that dies *aww* and then gets REVENGED!). Watch John Wick. Watch it, and love it.