Out of Sight is cool.
Out of Sight is real cool.
Out of Sight is real fucking cool.
How many times can I saw cool in this post?*
The film stars George Clooney as Jack Foley, a career bank robber on the run, and Jennifer Lopez as the cop after him. The film also carries a supporting cast that includes Don Cheadle, Luiz Guzman, Albert Brooks, Steve Zahn (Long Live Steve Zahn), Catherine Keener, Dennis Farina and Michael Keaton!
Hoo boy this movie hit the spot. It had been quite a few years since I watched it last, and it was a great reminder that this is without a doubt one of my favorite movies. Which isn't surprising really, I've long since been identified as a "Soder-Boy", a devout and loving admirer of the film's director Steven Soderbergh (Ocean's Trilogy, The Limey, Traffic). Oh yea, I'm a big, big Soder-Boy. The dude is fearless, and even though he doesn't always hit the mark, I love that he always takes a swing (sport reference brought to you by Fuck You).
But Out of Sight works. The movie has so many cool flourishes throughout (a few choice freeze frames, for example) and its two lead actors are actually oozing chemistry (ooooooooozing). No, but really, George and Jennifer have that true blue movie star chemistry, that lightening in a bottle. Lopez has never been better (HUSTLERS OWNED THOUGH) and this is easily my favorite Clooney performance (I'd say his best is Michael Clayton). In the films' infamous car trunk scene, George and Jennifer are in the trunk of a car, talking to each other for the first time, as criminal and hostage, and Clooney effortlessly goes from criminal, to buffoon, to charming, to sexy, to funny.
But there are also scenes where he is as cool as cool gets. In fact, just as The Hunt for Red October molded my inner perception of Sean Connery, Out of Sight gave me the way I immediately picture George Clooney. Cool. Just fucking cool. *wipes drool*
Y'all, Out of Sight is just fucking good. A top auteur director working with one of his greatest collaborators at the very beginning of their relationship. V cool.
Movies are real cool, dudes. I like movies.
I'll be back here soon, y'all.
*10
Friday, April 3, 2020
Monday, March 23, 2020
The Hunt for Red October and Crimson Tide
I made a mistake.
I did something I shouldn't have.
I FUCKED up.
I watched The Hunt for Red October right before Crimson Tide.
*Deep Breath*
That was a mistake. It was my mistake, and my mistake alone. The thing is, I love Crimson Tide. It's a stylish Tony Scott action/thriller with Gene Hackman (HACK-MAN) and Scott's frequent collaborator, Mr. Denzel Washington. The movie is a well made popcorn flick with a cast that is simply too incredible to name everyone here (Long Live Steve Zahn), and the back and forth between Hackman (HACK-MAN) and Washington is just some plain ol' good shit.
I actually hadn't seen Tide in a number of years, and I'm not sure I had ever actually watched my Blu Ray copy (Blu Ray baby), and for whatever reason, I had the worst itch to watch some 'Dad' thrillers. I had just recently purchased The Hunt for Red October, so this seemed like an ideal time for a double feature (The Fugitive is next!).
For reasons unknown, I had decided to watch Red October first. Could it have possibly been the fact that the movie had just turned 30? Perhaps. Or could it have possibly been that I had purchased it on 4K Blu Ray and I'm a little bitch when it comes to that? Yes. So Red October was first.
Jesus Christ, what a fucking masterclass in action filmmaking.
John McTiernan had just put out Predator three years prior, and Die Hard a year after that. Red October was his follow up to both films.
Let that sink in. Three action masterpieces within 3 years of each other. One after another. McTiernan was, simply put, working on another level at that time. His sense of geography is akin to Spielberg, every action is clear, every cut is precise. He cuts back and forth between different locations on a submarine, back and forth between CIA offices and Naval ships. It's never once confusing, something that has plagued action films in subsequent decades.
The pace of this film moves at lightening speed, which is all the more impressive when you realize there really aren't any traditional action scenes. No fist fights. Maybe a few bullets are shot. But it's all just a game of cat and mouse between Alec Baldwin and Sean Connery. And it's fucking exhilarating.
Speaking of Connery. Holy Shit. What a commanding performance. I didn't realize it until this viewing (and I hadn't seen this since maybe junior high), but this is how I've always pictured Sean Connery. His sense of honor, a little bit of rebellion, authority. When ever I thought of Connery, I was thinking of him in Red October. Which is insane. James Bond. The Untouchables. The Rock. Indiana Jones' Dad. But my mental image of Sean Connery was him in this movie. He was so good, it actually imprinted on my brain.
But McTiernan. Man. One particular sequence involving a deep ocean canyon and a cocky Connery is an absolute all timer. The man just knew exactly how to get the heart racing, and like his previous films, knew exactly how to cast and create iconic characters. This man basically molded my action childhood, and I feel ashamed that I hadn't revisited this one sooner.
Crimson Tide never stood a chance.
Anywho, I'm gonna do this more. I recently published another post, it's a little personal (ew), but its there if you wanna poke this brain. Like I said, I think I'm gonna watch The Fugitive soon, so I'll be back on here to talk about that ASAP (or whatever the hell else I decide watch if anything).
BYE
I did something I shouldn't have.
I FUCKED up.
I watched The Hunt for Red October right before Crimson Tide.
*Deep Breath*
That was a mistake. It was my mistake, and my mistake alone. The thing is, I love Crimson Tide. It's a stylish Tony Scott action/thriller with Gene Hackman (HACK-MAN) and Scott's frequent collaborator, Mr. Denzel Washington. The movie is a well made popcorn flick with a cast that is simply too incredible to name everyone here (Long Live Steve Zahn), and the back and forth between Hackman (HACK-MAN) and Washington is just some plain ol' good shit.
I actually hadn't seen Tide in a number of years, and I'm not sure I had ever actually watched my Blu Ray copy (Blu Ray baby), and for whatever reason, I had the worst itch to watch some 'Dad' thrillers. I had just recently purchased The Hunt for Red October, so this seemed like an ideal time for a double feature (The Fugitive is next!).
For reasons unknown, I had decided to watch Red October first. Could it have possibly been the fact that the movie had just turned 30? Perhaps. Or could it have possibly been that I had purchased it on 4K Blu Ray and I'm a little bitch when it comes to that? Yes. So Red October was first.
Jesus Christ, what a fucking masterclass in action filmmaking.
John McTiernan had just put out Predator three years prior, and Die Hard a year after that. Red October was his follow up to both films.
Let that sink in. Three action masterpieces within 3 years of each other. One after another. McTiernan was, simply put, working on another level at that time. His sense of geography is akin to Spielberg, every action is clear, every cut is precise. He cuts back and forth between different locations on a submarine, back and forth between CIA offices and Naval ships. It's never once confusing, something that has plagued action films in subsequent decades.
The pace of this film moves at lightening speed, which is all the more impressive when you realize there really aren't any traditional action scenes. No fist fights. Maybe a few bullets are shot. But it's all just a game of cat and mouse between Alec Baldwin and Sean Connery. And it's fucking exhilarating.
Speaking of Connery. Holy Shit. What a commanding performance. I didn't realize it until this viewing (and I hadn't seen this since maybe junior high), but this is how I've always pictured Sean Connery. His sense of honor, a little bit of rebellion, authority. When ever I thought of Connery, I was thinking of him in Red October. Which is insane. James Bond. The Untouchables. The Rock. Indiana Jones' Dad. But my mental image of Sean Connery was him in this movie. He was so good, it actually imprinted on my brain.
But McTiernan. Man. One particular sequence involving a deep ocean canyon and a cocky Connery is an absolute all timer. The man just knew exactly how to get the heart racing, and like his previous films, knew exactly how to cast and create iconic characters. This man basically molded my action childhood, and I feel ashamed that I hadn't revisited this one sooner.
Crimson Tide never stood a chance.
Anywho, I'm gonna do this more. I recently published another post, it's a little personal (ew), but its there if you wanna poke this brain. Like I said, I think I'm gonna watch The Fugitive soon, so I'll be back on here to talk about that ASAP (or whatever the hell else I decide watch if anything).
BYE
Wednesday, March 11, 2020
I still like movies.
Hello world, it's me Jordan (Robert). There have been some changes in my life since I last wrote in this here thing. I'm engaged again. That's cool. I'm about to be a Step Dad. That's terrifying. I'm about to be 34. That's fine.
I still like movies, though. Very much so. I usually watch at least one movie a day. I hear it keeps the social life away. LOL. Anyway, like I said, I like movies. No matter if times are good or bad, I like movies. One thing I've noticed though, is how much I miss writing about movies.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I'll talk about movies with anyone willing to listen (usually just my Mommy) all day long, but I miss taking those conversations and thoughts and conclusions and writing them out. I used to do it regularly, mostly when I was married and living in North Carolina. That was a hard time for me. I never made many friends when I moved, and I had missed my old friends and family something fierce. My marriage at the time seemed fine, but later I realized it was during those years that it began to deteriorate. And rather than actively deal with my loneliness (which eventually blossomed into a full on case of depression) or work on my marriage, I turned to movies. Oh and maybe too much booze (BUT I'LL DEAL WITH THAT LATER).
But I wrote about movies, just not on here but for a local newspaper in North Carolina. My taste in movies didn't match very well with theirs, but it was a cool opportunity and I got to see movies for free.
As I mentioned before, I'm giving marriage another go. I'm excited about it. I feel like I learned a lot last time, and I'm ready to take that knowledge and apply it with my new wife (who is pretty fucking cool if I do say so). But even as I enter this new and exciting chapter in my life, I find myself distracted. Stressed. Anxious.
In recent years I helped create Playtime Comedy with three of my best friends. It's been an amazing creative outlet. But recently, due to schedules mostly and some thing called a "Pandemic", we haven't had much chance to get together. The lack of a creative outlet has led to a serious creative dry spell for me, which in turn ignites that anxiety I'm working so hard to control.
I also recently made the decision to start taking antidepressants and anxiety medication to help with my depression and anxiety. Finally admitting the fact that i have both anxiety and depression immediately feels like admitting defeat. I'm finally admitting I'm broken.
"You can't think that way." "You're taking the first step!" "There are only three Die Hard movies!" Wait, I mean yes, but, shit. Whatever. Look this shit is scary is all I'm saying.
It's a tough spot to be in for sure. I want so badly to create yet cannot no matter how much I try. Now yes, times will change, schedules will clear, writers block goes away (if it ever really existed). But right now, I need something. I need a release. I need to talk about movies. You don't have to listen of course (I'm also assuming you can't read), but I'm going to use this space to talk about movies, because I like movies, and that's cool and stuff.
I still like movies, though. Very much so. I usually watch at least one movie a day. I hear it keeps the social life away. LOL. Anyway, like I said, I like movies. No matter if times are good or bad, I like movies. One thing I've noticed though, is how much I miss writing about movies.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I'll talk about movies with anyone willing to listen (usually just my Mommy) all day long, but I miss taking those conversations and thoughts and conclusions and writing them out. I used to do it regularly, mostly when I was married and living in North Carolina. That was a hard time for me. I never made many friends when I moved, and I had missed my old friends and family something fierce. My marriage at the time seemed fine, but later I realized it was during those years that it began to deteriorate. And rather than actively deal with my loneliness (which eventually blossomed into a full on case of depression) or work on my marriage, I turned to movies. Oh and maybe too much booze (BUT I'LL DEAL WITH THAT LATER).
But I wrote about movies, just not on here but for a local newspaper in North Carolina. My taste in movies didn't match very well with theirs, but it was a cool opportunity and I got to see movies for free.
As I mentioned before, I'm giving marriage another go. I'm excited about it. I feel like I learned a lot last time, and I'm ready to take that knowledge and apply it with my new wife (who is pretty fucking cool if I do say so). But even as I enter this new and exciting chapter in my life, I find myself distracted. Stressed. Anxious.
In recent years I helped create Playtime Comedy with three of my best friends. It's been an amazing creative outlet. But recently, due to schedules mostly and some thing called a "Pandemic", we haven't had much chance to get together. The lack of a creative outlet has led to a serious creative dry spell for me, which in turn ignites that anxiety I'm working so hard to control.
I also recently made the decision to start taking antidepressants and anxiety medication to help with my depression and anxiety. Finally admitting the fact that i have both anxiety and depression immediately feels like admitting defeat. I'm finally admitting I'm broken.
"You can't think that way." "You're taking the first step!" "There are only three Die Hard movies!" Wait, I mean yes, but, shit. Whatever. Look this shit is scary is all I'm saying.
It's a tough spot to be in for sure. I want so badly to create yet cannot no matter how much I try. Now yes, times will change, schedules will clear, writers block goes away (if it ever really existed). But right now, I need something. I need a release. I need to talk about movies. You don't have to listen of course (I'm also assuming you can't read), but I'm going to use this space to talk about movies, because I like movies, and that's cool and stuff.
Monday, November 26, 2018
CREED II
CREED II is a rousing sequel to Ryan Coogler's masterpiece, CREED, and while it fails to live up to heights of its predecessor, the tried and true formula the franchise helped mold proves as solid as ever, cementing the fact that I'll never not cry during one of these movies. Even ROCKY V. (HEY FUCK YOU, PAL)
I'd like to let the record show at this time that ROCKY IV is my least favorite ROCKY picture.
Calm down. Shhh. It's OK. It's OK. I never said I didn't like it. I mean, I love to drink beer and watch Stallone stroll through the 90 minute montage as much as the next person, OK? But ROCKY IV is Stallone at his most vain and over the top (LOL), and what's worse, ROCKY IV feels like the cliff notes version of a ROCKY movie. Apollo Creed's death simply doesn't hit in the same way Mickey's death does in ROCKY III, which is kind of crazy when that event is what truly drove Apollo and Rocky to finally become best friends as opposed to just respected peers. The film drowns in 80's excess, showing off household robots and diving headfirst into Rocky ending the cold war. Full stop, ROCKY IV is fucking ridiculous. ROCKY V has probably aged the worst, but I respect it's efforts in trying to get back to the roots of the characters and remember that they are the reason we love these movies so much, and not just watching them train in montages.
However, a funny thing happened. CREED gave ROCKY IV meaning. I go into more detail here, but let's face it, if you've watched CREED then you know what I mean. All of a sudden it felt like the movie had a righteous place in the ROCKY franchise.
And then CREED II just goes ahead and makes ROCKY IV a better movie.
The film opens with Adonis, again played by an electrifying Michael B. Jordan, becoming World Champion, just like his father and Rocky before him. He's about to propose to Bianca, who might I add is expecting their first baby. All is well. Until it isn't, of course.
Honestly, the actual plot of CREED II is fairly obvious and not in the least bit surprising. How can it be, 8 films in? CREED found a way to make the franchise feel fresh and revitalized again, but CREED II never quite matches that energy and leans just a little too far into the formula to become another classic like the first and seventh entries.
BUT.
And there is a but.
But, as I mentioned before, the formula still works. And it works really well.
Dolph Lundgren is of course back as Ivan Drago. Lundgren has never been the greatest actor, and to be fair, he never really tried to be. But he does have a certain look about him. He stands out, to say the least, and age has served him well it seems, as Ivan in CREED II looks as if life has chewed him up and spit him out. Lundgren has pain and regret all over his face throughout the entire film. In fact, the movie does a great job of getting you to understand the damage that Rocky inflicted in their last fight, and how that has pushed the man towards revenge, even at the expense of his relationship with his own son.
Speaking of the Drago boy, Florian Munteanu plays Creed's opponent, and he proves to be the most intimidating villain the franchise has had since at least Clubber Lang in ROCKY III. Not only does he have the look of a dude who could beat all life out of me, but the weight of thirty years of training and hatred towards the Creeds and Balboas hangs over his head and gives a clear and concise motivation for the character.
Stallone once again brings tears to my eyes almost every damn minute he's on screen, which actually isn't as much as you'd think, but still, it's clear he has deep love and understanding of Rocky, even as he continues to fight the battles life throws at him, like the diminishing relationship with his son. I really don't know what else to say about Rocky other than he's my favorite film character of all time and as long as Stallone is willing to play him I'll keep watching.
Michael B. Jordan, though. God damn. The dude is ferocious here, giving everything as if everything is on the line. And of course, for Adonis, everything is. Not just his legacy, but his family. He risks everything by accepting this fight knowing that he could die just like his father, and Jordan shows every ounce of fear, anger and determination with perfection.
Like any good ROCKY picture, we see the hero fall. And it hurts. It hurts because we care about them. It hurts because we want them to better themselves, to overcome the toughest obstacle. To win.
And like any good ROCKY picture, it feels oh so good when that iconic theme comes on at the most crucial moment during the fight, the moment where it all counts. I'll never get tired of that feeling.
CREED II isn't a masterpiece like CREED. CREED II relies on nostalgia for it's success whereas CREED seemingly created nostalgia and formed its own legacy. But that's not a diss. CREED II makes ROCKY IV matter, it gives ROCKY IV weight and meaning 30 years after the fact by examining the toll a legacy can take.
CREED II fucking rules.
Tuesday, June 19, 2018
Transformers: The Last Knight (Or, How I Stopped Worrying and Remembered That I Love Michael Bay)
I used to call myself a "Bay enthusiast". Bad Boys and The Rock, coming out just a year apart from each other, were quite the one-two punch debut for the former music video and commercial director. Both of those became action staples in the Hunt household almost immediately, with The Rock in particular catching my interest as it introduced me to the one, the only, Nic Cage (ALL HAIL CAGE).
Armageddon only solidified Bay's standing in my eyes by having Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck save the world by finding and drilling oil on an asteroid racing toward Earth and saving the world's economy in the process (or wait...). Anyway, I cry every time I watch it AND GUESS WHAT I'M SMART.
But let's be real here, Bad Boys II is the greatest trash masterpiece of all time. Gleefully inappropriate, insanely over the top and filled with some of the best action that Bay has ever put on screen, Bad Boys II is what puts Bay in the Hall of Fame for me. (What Hall of Fame is that, you ask? SHUT UP).
Now, it's safe to say that in the time since, Bay has never been able to reach the heights of that buddy cop action sequel (though he tried damn hard and came close with Pain & Gain) but my love for him remained the same.
And then he made Transformers.
Honestly, I really like the first one. Actually, I love it. It's big, it's dumb and it's fun. I think at the time Bay was the perfect, and perhaps, only choice to bring such a stupid cartoon (get over it, nerds) to the big screen. Pure popcorn entertainment.
The second is a chore to sit through admittedly, but I remember liking it (though it's possible I was clouded by my Bay enthusiasm), and I think the third one gets a lot of undeserved hate, as it features a ton of great and ridiculous action.
*Sigh* But Age of Extinction is borderline unwatchable. Clocking in at almost 3 hours, I somehow managed to watch this garbage more than once, though on my third go round (look, I'M SICK OK?) I had forgotten most of the movie and was positive I was almost finished only to discover I had over an hour left and promptly turned it off.
To me, Bay had lost it, or perhaps even worse, he no longer cared.
You see, I like movies. I know we live in a time where we are offered more than ever before, and if you're paying attention, there are actually a shit ton of great films of all shapes and sizes and budgets and blood types, easily and readily available for your viewing pleasure.
But sometimes, well, sometimes I want Michael Bay movies.
And over the course of a decade it just felt like the Transformers franchise had taken it out of Bay. Sure, he was able to sneak in the previously mentioned Pain & Gain, but the overall response to that film was mostly underwhelming, leading the director to his absolute worst effort with the fourth morphing robot movie. The Bay I knew and loved was dead. And so, it felt, was I.
So when a fifth car robot motion picture was announced with Bay directing, I really didn't care. I watched 13 Hours, and while watchable, it was still but a flicker of what the director used to be.
Transformers 5 came and went. Critics had never been kind to the franchise, but this time even audiences didn't care, as the film delivered the lowest box office grosses of all five movies. "So what?", I thought, as I watched Batman & Robin for the 47th time.
Then something funny happened. I saw that Transformers: The Last Knight was streaming on Hulu, and wouldn't you know it, I felt a hint of curiosity. I had heard nothing good of the Mark Wahlberger blockbuster, and his presence certainly didn't help the previous installment. But still, I had to know.
So I did it. I fucking watched it. I fucking watched the entire goddamn 2 hour and 20 minute thing.
And I kind of liked it.
Be careful. I'm not saying it's good. It's just, well, it's crazy. It begins with Merlin (you know, the wizard) drunk on a horse on his way to meet with King Arthur and all of them other knights to fight side by side with Transformers to save the world. I don't really know why and I don't really care, but I can say I thought it was very silly and very insane in a way that reminded me of the Bay I once loved.
Cut forward to present day where transformers are being hunted by the TRF (whatever) and are seeking sanctuary either in Cuba (!) or Wahlbergies junk yard. The Merlin stuff eventually comes back into play over an hour later, though I couldn't tell you how, but honestly I was just glad to see that Bay was back to not giving a shit, but in a good way.
The action scenes here have more life in them than the entirety of the previous entry, and I think I actually laughed like twice at some of the jokes, both times coming from a butler transformer who is actually the only funny thing to ever come out of the franchise. (Seriously, the transformers themselves have always been the worst part of these movies, with blood boiling dialogue and even worse racial stereotypes).
More than anything, it seemed like Bay was trying again. He even got Anthony Hopkins, who is not a stranger to simply collecting a paycheck, to give his all even while arguing with John Turturro over the phone about....well honestly it doesn't fucking matter. Point is even Hopkins was having a good time.
Shit. I realize this turned into a short essay about loving and missing Michael Bay, and I'm basically just giving Transformers 5 a back handed compliment by saying that I wanted to watch trash and trash is what I got, but I have to admit that it gave me a little hope. I could see Bay having some fun again and I really hope he gets his groove back.
Here's hoping that he is forever done with robots that change, and that he gets back to making good, old fashion action Bayhem like he did in the 90s. Give Nic a call, Michael. I think y'all could be good for each other again.
Armageddon only solidified Bay's standing in my eyes by having Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck save the world by finding and drilling oil on an asteroid racing toward Earth and saving the world's economy in the process (or wait...). Anyway, I cry every time I watch it AND GUESS WHAT I'M SMART.
But let's be real here, Bad Boys II is the greatest trash masterpiece of all time. Gleefully inappropriate, insanely over the top and filled with some of the best action that Bay has ever put on screen, Bad Boys II is what puts Bay in the Hall of Fame for me. (What Hall of Fame is that, you ask? SHUT UP).
Now, it's safe to say that in the time since, Bay has never been able to reach the heights of that buddy cop action sequel (though he tried damn hard and came close with Pain & Gain) but my love for him remained the same.
And then he made Transformers.
Honestly, I really like the first one. Actually, I love it. It's big, it's dumb and it's fun. I think at the time Bay was the perfect, and perhaps, only choice to bring such a stupid cartoon (get over it, nerds) to the big screen. Pure popcorn entertainment.
The second is a chore to sit through admittedly, but I remember liking it (though it's possible I was clouded by my Bay enthusiasm), and I think the third one gets a lot of undeserved hate, as it features a ton of great and ridiculous action.
*Sigh* But Age of Extinction is borderline unwatchable. Clocking in at almost 3 hours, I somehow managed to watch this garbage more than once, though on my third go round (look, I'M SICK OK?) I had forgotten most of the movie and was positive I was almost finished only to discover I had over an hour left and promptly turned it off.
To me, Bay had lost it, or perhaps even worse, he no longer cared.
You see, I like movies. I know we live in a time where we are offered more than ever before, and if you're paying attention, there are actually a shit ton of great films of all shapes and sizes and budgets and blood types, easily and readily available for your viewing pleasure.
But sometimes, well, sometimes I want Michael Bay movies.
And over the course of a decade it just felt like the Transformers franchise had taken it out of Bay. Sure, he was able to sneak in the previously mentioned Pain & Gain, but the overall response to that film was mostly underwhelming, leading the director to his absolute worst effort with the fourth morphing robot movie. The Bay I knew and loved was dead. And so, it felt, was I.
So when a fifth car robot motion picture was announced with Bay directing, I really didn't care. I watched 13 Hours, and while watchable, it was still but a flicker of what the director used to be.
Transformers 5 came and went. Critics had never been kind to the franchise, but this time even audiences didn't care, as the film delivered the lowest box office grosses of all five movies. "So what?", I thought, as I watched Batman & Robin for the 47th time.
Then something funny happened. I saw that Transformers: The Last Knight was streaming on Hulu, and wouldn't you know it, I felt a hint of curiosity. I had heard nothing good of the Mark Wahlberger blockbuster, and his presence certainly didn't help the previous installment. But still, I had to know.
So I did it. I fucking watched it. I fucking watched the entire goddamn 2 hour and 20 minute thing.
And I kind of liked it.
Be careful. I'm not saying it's good. It's just, well, it's crazy. It begins with Merlin (you know, the wizard) drunk on a horse on his way to meet with King Arthur and all of them other knights to fight side by side with Transformers to save the world. I don't really know why and I don't really care, but I can say I thought it was very silly and very insane in a way that reminded me of the Bay I once loved.
Cut forward to present day where transformers are being hunted by the TRF (whatever) and are seeking sanctuary either in Cuba (!) or Wahlbergies junk yard. The Merlin stuff eventually comes back into play over an hour later, though I couldn't tell you how, but honestly I was just glad to see that Bay was back to not giving a shit, but in a good way.
The action scenes here have more life in them than the entirety of the previous entry, and I think I actually laughed like twice at some of the jokes, both times coming from a butler transformer who is actually the only funny thing to ever come out of the franchise. (Seriously, the transformers themselves have always been the worst part of these movies, with blood boiling dialogue and even worse racial stereotypes).
More than anything, it seemed like Bay was trying again. He even got Anthony Hopkins, who is not a stranger to simply collecting a paycheck, to give his all even while arguing with John Turturro over the phone about....well honestly it doesn't fucking matter. Point is even Hopkins was having a good time.
Shit. I realize this turned into a short essay about loving and missing Michael Bay, and I'm basically just giving Transformers 5 a back handed compliment by saying that I wanted to watch trash and trash is what I got, but I have to admit that it gave me a little hope. I could see Bay having some fun again and I really hope he gets his groove back.
Here's hoping that he is forever done with robots that change, and that he gets back to making good, old fashion action Bayhem like he did in the 90s. Give Nic a call, Michael. I think y'all could be good for each other again.
Sunday, April 16, 2017
The Fate of the Furious
Hello again my babies. I have risen from the grave on this day of worship to bring you my thoughts on the eighth installment of The Fast and the Furious franchise.
As most of you know, I love these films. I live these films. Ride or die, I will watch these films until the end of days.
The Fate of the Furious is no exception. Loaded with insane action, wonderful one liners and a budding romance between The Rock and Jason Statham, Fate proves that this franchise is simply invincible.
The main plot involves Dom being blackmailed (by Charlize Theron of all fucking people) into betraying his family and going rogue, forcing his former teammates to rally against their leader and save the world from World War III.
Let me repeat that. The Fate of the Furious is basically about stopping World War III. Here's hoping the next installment is about stopping World War IV.
Jesus Christ I just love these movies. Not only do they know exactly what they are (FUN), but ever since Fast Five the action on display is legit great and absolutely bonkers.
Fate is of course the first film not to feature Paul Walker's character Brian O'Connor. Walker was never the most versatile actor, but his chemistry with his cast mates was real, and his presence, while still felt in Fate, is also sorely missed. As much as I love Vin, his hulk of a Dom is not enough to carry these movies by himself.
Which I think is why the filmmakers made sure to beef up Dwayne Johnson's role this time out. Dwayne is on fire here, giving so many amazing lines involving punching asses and brushing teeth. The man sweats charisma and is completely aware of what kind of movie he is in and plays it to 11 and I couldn't love it more.
Except then he becomes best friends with Jason Statham and I do love it more.
Now, there has been some controversy over Statham's character this time out. As you all know, Statham killed our beloved Han in Furious 6 (or Tokyo Drift, depending on how sworn to the timeline you are) so the fact that he blends right into the crew in this one is a little jarring, even with a franchise as silly as this.
But you know, one of the things I love most about these movies is their willingness for consistency and continuity, especially with character interaction. If you're family, you're family forever. If you're not, you're fucked forever. So in theory, Statham should be banned and tortured and forever fucked.
BUT, Fate not only makes the wise decision to pair Statham up with Dwayne as often as possible, but it also makes the wise choice to utilize funny Jason Statham.
Now look, Statham is always great. He fights great. He looks great. But he's also really fucking funny. This should be no surprise, as he displayed these chops all the way back in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch years ago. And we all know how good the Crank movies are of course. Oh, and lets all admit he was the only good thing about Spy.
Holy shit, why doesn't this guy do more comedy?
Anyway, Statham fights multiple dudes and has a gunfight on a jet all while holding a baby. So yea, I forgive him for killing Han.
Another highlight of the film is a prison break sequence with Johnson and Statham that is as ridiculous and gravity defying as we've come to expect, and it's simply wonderful. Seriously, if the last two movies are just these two I would be more than happy.
The film has a true secret weapon though. A true stroke of genius. The casting of Scott Eastwood. Scott is the son of Clint, of course. and he is the spitting image of his dad. However, he got zero of his screen presence. He is awful and sucks the energy out of every scene he's in. I mean, this guy fucking sucks. Was it possible they just cast him thanks to his famous last name? Sure. But I've become convinced it was for something much more maniacal. The filmmakers decided they needed to let the world know just how much this dude sucks, because who else could be truly roasted by Tyrese in every scene they are in and it seem legitimate? Why else would you put this stupid idiot next to the charismatic behemoth that is Dwayne Johnson? WHY ELSE WOULD YOU HAVE THIS MORON STAND NEXT TO KURT. FUCKING. RUSSELL if for nothing else but to show how awful he is?
Oh hell, he doesn't ruin the movie in the slightest, but he sucks.
I digress.
You guys, The Fate of the Furious is great. Statham and Johnson are the highlights, but the action is as good and goofy as ever and its theme of family above all else is here through and through. Not a fan? Then don't watch it. Duh. Otherwise, grab a corona and enjoy.
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Spoilers.
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is a frustrating experience. A reaction to both the criticism Man of Steel received for its collateral damage and the rise of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. A hail mary attempt to keep the DC Cinematic in play, and while my boy Ben Affleck kills it (and many others) in his debut as The Batman, BvS proves to be a shining example of how not to do it.
Batman is my favorite superhero. Period. The world's greatest detective (suck it, Sherlock) is able to outsmart anyone and anything. He's a fascinating character for a filmmaker to explore, and as a film fan I feel lucky to have so many great adaptations of him. And again, Affleck does a great job, but why oh why can't they figure out Superman as well as they did 40 years ago?
Overall, I liked what Zack Snyder did with Man of Steel. I think Kevin Costners casting as Jonathon Kent was a stroke of genius, but the way they kill him was one of many misunderstandings about Superman the filmmaker had about the character. In just about every other iteration, Pa Kent dies of a heart attack, something that not even Superman can prevent. "All those powers.." says a young Clark in 1978's Superman: The Movie. It's the moment that drives Superman to want to save as many lives as he can. To live up to his adoptive fathers wish of becoming the man he knew he could be. But in Man of Steel, Jonathon instills a mistrust in humanity to his son. "My father believed the world wasn't ready", and following his fathers wishes, Clark lets him die in a tornado because he believes humans can't take it.
Points, I suppose, for trying a different take. It certainly lends an extra feeling of isolation for this alien, but it just doesn't work. Kal-El is born a hero. He doesn't learn it.
But that's the take we got. I think Henry Cavill is great in the role, and with the right script I think this guy could absolutely kill it. I still don't know how to feel about Superman killing Zod, but it certainly seemed that in the sequel he would be haunted by the action, and would do everything in his power to never do it again. I thought it was a good springboard for the next film, and a great opportunity to right some wrongs.
Oof.
Aside from Batman killing a ton of people (more on that later), BvS has no idea what to do with Superman. The future leader of the League the studio so desperately wants to set up, and they can't even repeat what they've already gotten right before.
Here, Kal-El is obsessed with his public opinion rating. There are some good ideas at play about how humanity would react to a literal God coming to Earth, and in Man of Steel, Superman deals with the military in a very Superman way. He basically says, "Hey, I'm a good guy. Lets be cool with each other". But in BvS, he becomes overly mopey about how people don't like him. He even goes on sabbatical at one point because he is so sad.
What a puss.
He often becomes angry at the drop of a hat (yes, I get Lex kidnaps his mother, but he has like, super hearing and X-ray vision and the power of flight and stuff) and his obsession with The Batman just doesn't really make sense. As Clark Kent the reporter, I get why he is so interested in a vigilante, but why he, as Superman, would actually interrupt the caped crusader in the middle of apprehending criminals to crash his batmobile to say "Hey stop, stop it" is beyond me.
It's a huge bummer because Superman is just as fascinating a character as Batman. To have someone who is so heroic, so bright in the darkest of times is inspiring, and could and should be a great contrast to Batman. But in BvS, Superman is more downbeat and depressing than anyone. Even with his ultimate sacrifice (which could have been avoided if he just gave the kryptonite spear to Wonder Woman, who clearly was capable of taking a hit or two from Doomsday) it never feels like Superman is the hero I grew up with.
I hear the term "studio interference" far too often from fans and viewers when complaining about blockbusters and superhero movies. I have no doubt that it exists, but I feel that more often than not, things just didn't work out with whatever movie. Maybe they were working against a release date, or maybe they just couldn't figure it out. But with BvS, it feels like Warner Bros. was desperate, which wasn't the case with Man of Steel. Any issue I have with MoS was because of a deliberate storytelling choice, but with BvS, it seems Snyder had to succumb to notes and notes of what to follow. To make sure X and Y were included.
I like Snyder, I feel I should say. I think given the freedom and time he could make a good Superman movie. But this apparently wasn't it. And if the rest of the DCCU is to follow the course that has been set with BvS, then I'm not sure I want this guy involved anymore.
So that's the bad, how about the good?
As I mentioned, my boy Affleck kills it as Bruce Wayne/Batman. I love seeing an older, angrier Batman onscreen. Unlike Superman, Batman's motivation in BvS is clear. He is scared by the appearance of super humans, and I completely bought into the fact that he would react with great fear and motivation, and the arc that follows is completely organic, eventually becoming the one urging for the formation of a league to be ready for whatever comes next.
It's a great performance and I think given the right script Affleck could become the ultimate onscreen Batman.
Let's just hope he isn't as willing to kill in the future.
*Throws hands up in the air* Look, maybe it's because BvS gets Superman so wrong that I'm not more bothered that they got Batman just as wrong. I mean, it is upsetting that they have Bruce Wayne repeatedly committing the act of murder that inspired him to become a vigilante to stop all acts of murder, but you know, whatever.
And if you were really reaching, you could argue that you never actually see him kill anyone, all the goons he blows up with his batmobile grenades have some sort of non lethal element to them, or that the guy with the flame thrower was just severely burned never to fully recover. (But he killed them). Oh, and as a friend pointed out, his entire plan hinges on premeditated murder.
Again, maybe it's because I've been so fortunate enough as a fan to have the Nolan Batfilms that I'm not as upset about how wrong they got Batman. Or maybe it's because Affleck is so good. The fact is I'm more upset that they got Superman so wrong.
I forgot I was talking about the good for a second. That includes Wonder Woman. Her appearance is all too brief (WITH ZERO INTERACTION WITH SUPERMAN), but it's extremely memorable and Gal Gadot will surely kill it with her solo film. Even her theme stands out as highlight of the movie.
As a setup film, it's mildly successful. We get glimpses of The Flash, Aquaman, and Cyborg. It's neat, but only time will tell how these characters will actually work together onscreen. I hate to bring up the comparison, but Marvel cast its Avengers expertly, and we had a chance to get to know each character with their own film, allowing us to get at least an idea of how they would react to each other once united. As of now, we are almost completely blind going into Justice League.
It's a risk, and based on BvS, I'm not 100% sure it will pay off.
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is a frustrating experience. A reaction to both the criticism Man of Steel received for its collateral damage and the rise of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. A hail mary attempt to keep the DC Cinematic in play, and while my boy Ben Affleck kills it (and many others) in his debut as The Batman, BvS proves to be a shining example of how not to do it.
Batman is my favorite superhero. Period. The world's greatest detective (suck it, Sherlock) is able to outsmart anyone and anything. He's a fascinating character for a filmmaker to explore, and as a film fan I feel lucky to have so many great adaptations of him. And again, Affleck does a great job, but why oh why can't they figure out Superman as well as they did 40 years ago?
Overall, I liked what Zack Snyder did with Man of Steel. I think Kevin Costners casting as Jonathon Kent was a stroke of genius, but the way they kill him was one of many misunderstandings about Superman the filmmaker had about the character. In just about every other iteration, Pa Kent dies of a heart attack, something that not even Superman can prevent. "All those powers.." says a young Clark in 1978's Superman: The Movie. It's the moment that drives Superman to want to save as many lives as he can. To live up to his adoptive fathers wish of becoming the man he knew he could be. But in Man of Steel, Jonathon instills a mistrust in humanity to his son. "My father believed the world wasn't ready", and following his fathers wishes, Clark lets him die in a tornado because he believes humans can't take it.
Points, I suppose, for trying a different take. It certainly lends an extra feeling of isolation for this alien, but it just doesn't work. Kal-El is born a hero. He doesn't learn it.
But that's the take we got. I think Henry Cavill is great in the role, and with the right script I think this guy could absolutely kill it. I still don't know how to feel about Superman killing Zod, but it certainly seemed that in the sequel he would be haunted by the action, and would do everything in his power to never do it again. I thought it was a good springboard for the next film, and a great opportunity to right some wrongs.
Oof.
Aside from Batman killing a ton of people (more on that later), BvS has no idea what to do with Superman. The future leader of the League the studio so desperately wants to set up, and they can't even repeat what they've already gotten right before.
Here, Kal-El is obsessed with his public opinion rating. There are some good ideas at play about how humanity would react to a literal God coming to Earth, and in Man of Steel, Superman deals with the military in a very Superman way. He basically says, "Hey, I'm a good guy. Lets be cool with each other". But in BvS, he becomes overly mopey about how people don't like him. He even goes on sabbatical at one point because he is so sad.
What a puss.
He often becomes angry at the drop of a hat (yes, I get Lex kidnaps his mother, but he has like, super hearing and X-ray vision and the power of flight and stuff) and his obsession with The Batman just doesn't really make sense. As Clark Kent the reporter, I get why he is so interested in a vigilante, but why he, as Superman, would actually interrupt the caped crusader in the middle of apprehending criminals to crash his batmobile to say "Hey stop, stop it" is beyond me.
It's a huge bummer because Superman is just as fascinating a character as Batman. To have someone who is so heroic, so bright in the darkest of times is inspiring, and could and should be a great contrast to Batman. But in BvS, Superman is more downbeat and depressing than anyone. Even with his ultimate sacrifice (which could have been avoided if he just gave the kryptonite spear to Wonder Woman, who clearly was capable of taking a hit or two from Doomsday) it never feels like Superman is the hero I grew up with.
I hear the term "studio interference" far too often from fans and viewers when complaining about blockbusters and superhero movies. I have no doubt that it exists, but I feel that more often than not, things just didn't work out with whatever movie. Maybe they were working against a release date, or maybe they just couldn't figure it out. But with BvS, it feels like Warner Bros. was desperate, which wasn't the case with Man of Steel. Any issue I have with MoS was because of a deliberate storytelling choice, but with BvS, it seems Snyder had to succumb to notes and notes of what to follow. To make sure X and Y were included.
I like Snyder, I feel I should say. I think given the freedom and time he could make a good Superman movie. But this apparently wasn't it. And if the rest of the DCCU is to follow the course that has been set with BvS, then I'm not sure I want this guy involved anymore.
So that's the bad, how about the good?
As I mentioned, my boy Affleck kills it as Bruce Wayne/Batman. I love seeing an older, angrier Batman onscreen. Unlike Superman, Batman's motivation in BvS is clear. He is scared by the appearance of super humans, and I completely bought into the fact that he would react with great fear and motivation, and the arc that follows is completely organic, eventually becoming the one urging for the formation of a league to be ready for whatever comes next.
It's a great performance and I think given the right script Affleck could become the ultimate onscreen Batman.
Let's just hope he isn't as willing to kill in the future.
*Throws hands up in the air* Look, maybe it's because BvS gets Superman so wrong that I'm not more bothered that they got Batman just as wrong. I mean, it is upsetting that they have Bruce Wayne repeatedly committing the act of murder that inspired him to become a vigilante to stop all acts of murder, but you know, whatever.
And if you were really reaching, you could argue that you never actually see him kill anyone, all the goons he blows up with his batmobile grenades have some sort of non lethal element to them, or that the guy with the flame thrower was just severely burned never to fully recover. (But he killed them). Oh, and as a friend pointed out, his entire plan hinges on premeditated murder.
Again, maybe it's because I've been so fortunate enough as a fan to have the Nolan Batfilms that I'm not as upset about how wrong they got Batman. Or maybe it's because Affleck is so good. The fact is I'm more upset that they got Superman so wrong.
I forgot I was talking about the good for a second. That includes Wonder Woman. Her appearance is all too brief (WITH ZERO INTERACTION WITH SUPERMAN), but it's extremely memorable and Gal Gadot will surely kill it with her solo film. Even her theme stands out as highlight of the movie.
As a setup film, it's mildly successful. We get glimpses of The Flash, Aquaman, and Cyborg. It's neat, but only time will tell how these characters will actually work together onscreen. I hate to bring up the comparison, but Marvel cast its Avengers expertly, and we had a chance to get to know each character with their own film, allowing us to get at least an idea of how they would react to each other once united. As of now, we are almost completely blind going into Justice League.
It's a risk, and based on BvS, I'm not 100% sure it will pay off.
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