Pain and Gain

Hey dudes. I've seen more than a few movies since Evil Dead, and you can find reviews of those films here.

However, as awesome as it is to have the opportunity to write for Cary Citizen, I have to admit my one displeasure with the experience so far.

They wouldn't let me review Pain and Gain.

Oh well, I went and saw it on my own so here goes nothing.

First things first, I'm a Bay enthusiast. I love it all. I even own the criterion versions of The Rock and Armageddon because duh. He's been busy with robot movies for 6 years now, and while I love robots I was more than ready to see Bay return to the chaotic artistry he so brilliantly displayed in his action masterpiece, Bad Boys II. Thankfully, Pain and Gain does not disappoint and Bay gleefully brings us the true story of 3 bodybuilders who kidnap and torture a local Miami millionaire until he signs all of his riches over to them.

What's most remarkable about Pain and Gain isn't the fact that this really happened, it's how it happened. These guys were absolute morons, and there is no way things should have gotten as far as they did simply due to their own stupidity. Things like buckling up their victim when trying to murder him in a car wreck because it's against the law not to, for example. And Bay could not have found better actors to portray these hulking wanna be thieves. 

Mark Wahlberg has always excelled at comedy and has gotten better as a performer as the years went on, but when he goes to full on idiot mode there's no stopping him. His character, Danny, believes he deserves the American dream because well, look at him, he's ripped. Forget hard work and determination, Danny just knows he is worth it and when he sees an opportunity to steal everything from a self-made millionaire douche-bag, he jumps at the chance. Walhberg adapts to director Bay's style of chaotic excess perfectly and nails every ridiculous line after another, my personal favorite being that he can handle the situation because, as he puts it, "I've seen a lot of movies." Just brilliant.

Anthony Mackie also does a great job as Walhberg's co-worker who has recently felt some serious effects from steroid use. Mackie actually has some of the best lines in the movie and in a true testament to his performance, his character almost comes off as likable, a serious achievement considering the things these guys did.

But of course, the one and only Dwayne Johnson steals the show in a hilarious performance that starts at Jesus freak and goes all the way to coke fiend. His scene at a local neighborhood watch meeting is one of the best in the movie, and it convinces me that he can do no wrong as a performer. Seriously, he is amazing and I love him.

I really hope Bay makes more movies like this. Yes, I love it when he does mass destruction with what seems like an unlimited budget, but with Pain and Gain he spent pennies compared to his other movies which allowed him free reign to do exactly what he wanted. The result is a hilarious and unbelievable tale of excess and selfishness that only a director like Bay could deliver.


Oh, and before I go here is a great video from Badass Digest defending Michael Bay in all his glory.


I will be seeing Iron Man 3 this Friday and should have a review on Cary Citizen not too long after that.

So until then, dudes.